Recent reviews by spectre_howhelaughs

Average Elden Ring Enjoyer:

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Gamers,

To answer a question someone asked me with haste, "is BattleBit worth it?" The answer is a resounding: "absolutely, yes."

This review is being written during 2023's summer sale and despite some of the biggest sales I've seen in my entire time on steam from titles I really wanted (Elden Ring is on sale like c'mon): yet still, this game remains the best-selling title save-for CS:GO/the Steam-Deck. That alone should get your attention. Here's a quick review of the game but before that, the TL;DR is this--it's exactly as advertised, even better than I expected in fact, and while it's still early-access; it feels more complete than some other triple-A multiplayer FPS games that have dropped in the last few years. Funny thing is, it's openly 'not done.'

PERFORMANCE: It turns out that low-poly-games run great on all P.C.'s. I love the developer for enabling V-sync SOLELY so you can set the frame-rate-limiter's FPS to...the game's max which is: *1400 FPS NO MATTER YOUR GPU.* Sure, I've seen above 240FPS in a game before/have a monitor above 240hz but uh, not in early access and not nearly this fluid. It's optimized, objectively, for everyone no matter your computer-specs and that's not something most devs care about.

INNOVATIONS: 254 player servers in FPS, one would expect, would be loud. I honestly like how crappy the comms are in this game but uh, the game itself has pretty low-dB with in-game volume and most of my kills were/are/have been entirely visual cues/tracing enemies back to their muzzle-flashes. Most of my deaths, thusly, have been by snipers, vehicles, and silenced weapons. Also the vector, that smg...might need a nerf. Maybe.

SQUAD-BASED-STUFF/CLASSES: Simple battlefield-class formula but uh, the Medic-Class is a bit O.P. It always is but in BB, it makes you feel like you need to revive everyone? Considering games are won like...most games of this nature (ticket-system/respawns/you prevent these from being used up as a medic): medics can not only self-heal but recover any and all damage of allies. All classes can revive, though--issue is how fast. And for squad stuff, honestly, it's a game equally as fun with friends, alone, or with people role-playing and blasting Welcome to the Jungle as you assault an objective in a helo. Good times.

GAMEPLAY: Yeah, sure--it's effectively Roblox with guns but, one reviewer said it best: 'it's almost like you can tune that out entirely.' I agree with this notion because at stupid high FPS, I can barely notice how poly-gon-looking this game is solely because the gunplay and movement are the most fluid I've ever seen in *ANY* MMO-FPS. Probably...the server-tick-rate, I think.

CHEATERS: Despite all odds and expectations and unlike any other game I've played, they make this game *better.* I have yet to report anyone in 20 hours of play-time at lvl 45 because idk wtf cheating looks like in this game but, this game has ban waves every week and seeing those happen in real time is very satisfying. I also researched it and, indeed, early access bans are: global, permanent, and mean that when the game fully releases, well, less P.O.S' will be here. That's brilliant.

FINAL THOUGHTS/ISSUES: Honestly, I love this game. It's big, it's kinda dumb, but, it's just like me: I'm known for my love of the PP-Bizon in CS:GO and this game has...at least two variants of the PP. IT DOES NOT have the PP-BIZON but, honestly, the PP-19 has less recoil without the drum-mag so, these developers really impressed me with their choices in early access.

As for issues, they are minor for me: occasionally, you will end up in a game with absurdly high ping. Likewise, you cannot edit class-load-outs unless you are in a game. Other than that, it can be a bit grindy but that just makes it more satisfying when you see folks cheating/getting banned because this is the most *casual* fps I've ever played and they cheated...to unlock stuff faster. 11/10 deus ex machina, buy it for your friends, play it with your step-son--start a noise-rock band in Phili, smoke cloves...and then start some type of salsa company. One love.

Friends, gamers, but most especially...Capcom--

Why...does this game exist, I ask myself and you? For whom was it made? I've never had such an existential response to a triple-A title. I came-up with an answer but, read-on.

Was this like, Capcom testing out the new theatrical stuff for the RE-4-remake? Was it made by another, smaller team than the RE-2 remake? I don't know but, fun fact: this reviewer once predicted RE-4 would not get remade/remastered because it did not need one (it definitely deserved one) but hey, I love being wrong in the right way. Let's get after it. RE-3...time.

Did you know...the original Resident Evil 3...doesn't technically exist? I mean, uh, the original is *actually* called...RE3: Nemesis. This is not a remake/remaster, it's literally a 'retell' of that game's main plot and that is all it is.

It does have the new RE engine obviously but, as far as 'new content,' there is none. But, I still enjoyed it enough to cheese tf outta nemesis and that dude really needed to get offed. TL;DR--buy it on sale for no more than 20$ but, only if you are one of the three types of individuals I came up with below the dashes because I DO NOT KNOW WHO THIS GAME IS FOR, STEAM-PEOPLE.

This will be my softest recommendation of...any game I've ever played on P.C., and, any Resident Evil game, somehow. So, before I review it quickly, this game is for...three types of people.
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Type 1: you played the Resident Evil 2 Remake recently. This is effectively DLC for it and while the reused-assets aren't too on the nose, there is enough here to justify...a *10-20$* price-tag.

Type 2: you are either a long-time fan of the series*or*, like some, Resident Evil puzzles are not your jam and you want a stream-lined experience. I think some gamers might enjoy this game solely because: it's easy af, the gun-play is as tight as RE-village, and, it's not a horror-game. This game did not have any *actual* puzzles either, in my opinion...nothing optional or nearly as difficult as those spherical maze puzzles in RE-Village and as far as back-tracking, only two areas of the game actually have back-tracking also--the rest is linear. In that way though, I was able to beat this game in 2 sittings so, it's not worth full MSRP.

Type 3: *You want to play on the hardest difficulty right out the gate (you should, it's hard af)*. This one's me. I started on standard and found it insultingly easy. I got bit by zombies *five times* in a row and my health didn't even go to danger, just 'caution.' Then, I switched to HxC mode and boy, was it worth dying 40 times in one play-through. Here's a quick review of pros/cons but again, if you're not one of these people, this game is likely not for you. It's barely for me and I'm the one reviewing it!
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If you are one of these people, read on but if not, honestly, play RE-2's remake first and if you need more content after the...other main story-character there, this one's got two more characters.

Pros:
-Fantastic Gunplay
-Satisfying movement--the game has a perfect-dodge aspect that's entirely necessary on higher difficulties because when pulled off, time slows down and you lock on to an enemy's dome with whatever weapon you have out. Very bullet-time-y.
-Focused story/gorgeous graphics/the best looking character models in the RE series before the RE-4 remake
-Not a single frame-dropped, no glitches...and I'm running ultra-settings on a 240+hz monitor.

Cons:
-Cut content: in re3-nemesis, for example, there used to be this feature where you could choose between two outcomes at multiple points in the story, frequently. This game has no choices except 'how hard' you want to play it at. Side note: if you play on HxC+, ffs, be sure to get the extended-mag for the glock...I literally only beat this game because I had...two glocks.
-HxC BS: at one point on Hardcore mode, I realized I was lacking the extended mag for the glock which made it impossible to progress. Usually on harder difficulties, while one needs all the weapons uh, let's just say I was not happy that Nemesis actually carries a gun-upgrade and you have to either throw a grenade or waste a ton of ammo to get it.

-It's short, almost the shortest in the series/it is the shortest modern RE game. While I have 12 hours on record, according to the game, I beat it in a little over 10 hours/I did waste time re-doing the part to get the glock-mag/switched from standard to hardcore but, that's literally...a few days of very minimal gaming. Not worth $40.

Ultimately, if you think of this game as a DLC to RE-2, it is worth recommending to fans and only a specific few who are not.

Of all types of people I think would like this game that I list--honestly, it's people who dislike RE's heavy focus on back-tracking, puzzles, and horror. This is an action game and super linear: the hardest part for me was deciding what gun I was gonna kill Nemesis with. Yes, it was the glock.

Instead of reviewing Wallpaper Engine which is a great software I've got running on literally four screens...here's a cut-and-paste-job of one achievement from the program.

"Pest [Achievement]: Cause 1 fatal error or trigger 128 warnings in the editor." Yeah, I got that one.

Why is...causing a fatal error...worthy of a Steam-achievement?

Is it because I messed up editing? Did my computer go shidded? Both? Neither? Am I asking the wrong questions? Did my father ever really love me? These are all, indeed, questions left unanswered.

10/10 existential crisis

TL;DR, this game's maps are to-scale and a single match can take over an hour depending on how much of a defense a team puts up. It's objectively the angriest WWII game ever made.

Instead of reviewing the game, I'm just going to list a few experiences I've had in under 10-hours of playtime. I saved the best for last.

Queue the war stories.

1. I'm hunkered down as a medic with 8 other folks all creeping towards an objective. Suddenly, artillery falls from the sky and I'm surrounded by the mangled corpses of the comrades I failed to save. Their eviscerated bodies whisper to me. I failed, they say. I whisper back apologetically.

But wait: one actually survived and I rush to his aid. I save him and then we both die to another explosion but this time, we go together. That one hurt the least. Next.

2. I'm (again) hunkered down but, this time, as a machine gunner way-too-deep in enemy territory. Still, I'm a survivor. I'm all alone after a tank ran over my team. It's gone now and I signal where it's headed. I hear infantry coming towards me. My squad mates can't get to me because I walked across the map by myself. I somehow proceed to frantically clear an entire objective by myself and, almost by cosmic justice, accidentally step on my own grenade. That one really hurt. And, last but not least; here's one from the first match I ever played.

3. In the first game I ever played, I tried to cross a river as an anti-tanker and drowned while another player told me to swim. They said I could do it and I failed. I still don't know if they were being sarcastic. That's actually the first way I died in this game. By drowning, I mean. This one didn't hurt but I still cannot believe that was my first death in an MP-WW2 game.

Hell Let Loose, indeed.

Edit: this reviewer has since learned how to not drown.

Annapurna is one heck of an indie publisher. They're the cat's pajamas. They really put the 'pur' in Annapurna Interactive here. Get it? I could keep going but I actually want to review the game. Let's get cat-fur-it (no, I'm not sorry).

On the one hand, this game can only (currently) be played at a max resolution of 1080p. On the other hand, while it allows a player to cap the refresh rate, it also has the option for unlimited/no-cap. Play it with no-cap. No. Cap. I can't believe how little of my GPU is used in this game considering there are absolutely no load-times and I'm keeping a steady FPS identical to my monitor's refresh rate. That's dope.

TL;DR--it's a game about a cat finding their cat family in a post-apocalypse-situation-thing with robots and an AI. So, much like most gamers/cat-owners: while all my IRL cat does is make stinky shids and eat and....rinse and repeat; Stray has truly provided me with an appreciation for the plight of the not-so-lazy-feline. I still kinda wish I could make a nice coil on the floor though.

Shameless update for a steam-badge: I think Stray should win a Steam award for 2022. Specifically innovation in game-play. There is no other game with a dedicated meow button.

RE Village is one of the best video games I've ever played. Absolute 10/10. Buy it now. Buy it on sale. You need to play this, fellow gamer. But hear me out. This is more of an action game than a horror game. I mean, Steam's genre for it is literally 'action.' I digress. Review time.

To answer a question many folks have on that note--objectively, this game is not nearly as terrifying as Resident Evil Biohazard. It's not scary at all, if you want my take. It's more like...parental-horror.

It's also incredibly easier than RE7 was on the equivalent difficulty level--there wasn't an option to heal/craft with the action paused before. Now, not only can you do that but, combined with enemies that reliably drop crafting ingredients; it's hard to not have ammo.

Ammo was much more scarce in Biohazard and always has been in Resident Evil but, in Village, you can also buy it if you can't find it/craft it. The merchant in this game references the merchant from Resident Evil 4 and for that alone, Capcom deserves the full MSRP.

Anywho, I loved this game and I guarantee that this title will surprise you. If you've already played RE7, you'll likely predict at least one major plot point as well except, well, let's just say it didn't ruin the story.

TL;DR--the real horror story here is fatherhood. It's a rough gig. Evil residents make it more rough. Capcom made it fun. I bought this game on sale for less than I paid for Biohazard.
For the first time as a gamer, I feel like I owe a developer more money. Gimme some DLC, Capcom. You earned my coin.

EDIT EDIT EDIT: IT'S GETTING A DLC EXPANSION THIS OCTOBER. I LOVE YOU CAPCOM AND I'M PRETENDING YOU READ MY REVIEW.

Holy mother of audio fidelity, Soundpad is lit. Best 5$ I've ever spent, perhaps. Well, on Steam at least. It's super cool.

Real talk though, it's more than just a meme machine. So much more. It's probably the best software on Steam and it's incredibly simple to use.

Most importantly, Soundpad lets you record any digital audio in WAV format. And I mean any digital audio including anything you hear: you can play back your friends' obnoxious wheezing to them in even better quality than that in which they wheezed. You can hot-key a friend's voice and fool your friends into thinking they're in the game. I've only dj-ed for my friends thus far but the possibilities are endless.

I've spent most of my time polishing my recordings in app (I use audacity for isolating instruments) but here's a tip--use Steam's-voice-mic-check thing as an EQ when you play music through your mic (crank the input gain up and minimize the output gain [you're welcome]). Whatever you do, use the WAV recordings because the other audio format may take up less space but it shows.

TL;DR--I want to be the very best CS:GO DJ like no one ever was and I am now one step closer to achieving my dreams. Time to plagiarize Fallout 3 real quick.

You’re listening to Galaxy News Radio, and I’m your host: Three Dog, lord and master of all I survey!

First off, holy mother of pixels does this game look great on an ultra-wide monitor. I thought I had a dead pixel and it turns out it was just dust. And yes, I found this out by playing this game. Anywho.

Boy, what a remaster. I mean, I played the original on either ROM or ported to a handheld as a kid; I remember a difficulty spike at the end of the game and unbalanced music. Really tinny. Now, it's like an orchestra of bit-tunes. Apparently that difficulty spike at the end is still there but like, just farm XP folks. It's real easy.

I also remember this game being much harder than it is for me now but that's probably because I was a P.O.S child who once rage-quit from Pokemon Yellow's Safari Zone because I failed to catch a specific critter. I've grown. I digress.

This game is well worth the MSRP and if you've never played a 2D party based RPG or have played them all and not this one, the year was 1987. And that's when this game first came out. I wasn't alive but I hear it was a good time to be alive. Let's finish this.

Buy it full price. Buy it on sale. Just buy it. Square Enix is probably my favorite publisher at the moment. Yeah no, they're fantastic and as a publisher, honestly; I might just trust them more than any other video game company. Actually...it's a tie between Capcom and them. I think that's fair. Thanks for reading or whatever.

As a fan of the Life is Strange games, somehow this game fell off my radar. It wasn't advertised well and I would avoid any spoilers to this game and go in totally blind.

First up, this game isn't episodic. Surprise. It has five distinct chapters and no flashbacks to previous decisions. But here's where it gets interesting.

I'll say it folks. I'll say the thing. This game...is better than the original Life is Strange. Now that's just my opinion. Objectively though, it's kind of hard to compare the writing here with DontNod's. They're absent on this one. And it shows in the most wonderful way: the characters feel like actual people. This game is shorter than either of the main L.I.S titles and the characters are older. I estimate I'll only spend about 12 hours total playing but it was well worth 30$ on sale. Edit: it only took me about 11 hours to 100%.

I don't think the story has suffered from a shorter play-time/having all the content available to play at once. I played L.I.S 1 after it had all been released but, well, read on because I played the second game on day one.

I wasn't too fond of Life is Strange 2 because it has some glaring issues with story pacing/character development; it also really didn't do its main character justice. This game does and it doesn't even try that hard. Alex Chen is impossible to dislike. The pacing is, in a way, in the hands of a player. If you want my advice though, don't binge it/spoil it for yourself.

Random aside: the soundtrack is fire and the MC's singing voice is like immediate Spotify-playist material (it's mxmtoon).

TL;DR--this game does everything Life is Strange 1 & 2 did well without any of the pacing issues/illogical dialogue choices. But perhaps most importantly, even if you think the OG is better, this title has objectively outgrown the original. It also looks amazing with an RTX. On my honor, I only cried like four times. Last, the ending is good. No matter what you choose, in fact.