Programmer: A machine that turns coffee into code.

Computers are fast; programmers keep it slow.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.

My code DOESN’T work, I have no idea why. My code WORKS, I have no idea why.

Algorithm: Word used by programmers when they don’t want to explain what they did.

Software and cathedrals are much the same — first we build them, then we pray.

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

One man’s crappy software is another man’s full-time job.

A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.

It’s not a bug — it’s an undocumented feature.

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