Somewhere, there's a little boy who wants nothing more than a PC for christmas. He's been good all year and wrote a letter to GabeN asking for a gaming PC, even if it's just a small one.
His parents found the letter and were not amused. The peasantry in his family ran deep and his mother said that they couldn't afford a $5000 PC.
"But mom, a PC is not more expensive than consoles! With steam sales and humble bundles you'll save money in no time", the little boy pleaded, but to no avail.
"GabeN isn't real and you're getting a PS4 for christmas", exclaimed his mother.
"Also you're a fat ♥♥♥ and I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ your mom last night", added his enraged father.
The little boy was heartbroken. He didn't want another paperweight with potato graphics for christmas, all he wanted was a glorious battle station. Why couldn't they understand?
Christmas Eve came and went, his parents made him play CoD: Ghosts all evening on their PS3. The boy's eyes were starting to hurt from the low resolution and terrible framerate, but his father insisted that he cannot be done until he fulfilled his quote of racist expletives in voice chat for the day. They played until deep in the night and when he asked them if he could rest his eyes from the terrible graphics, they said that his eyes couldn't tell the difference anyway. His peasant parents taunted him saying this would be the only gaming he'd ever experience.
The boy shed a single tear and as it touched the ground, a wondrous thing happened. There was a loud noise on the roof and they all held their breath. Suddenly, down the chimney came the glorious presence of almighty GabeN. The peasants averted their eyes, for they could not comprehend his glorious resolution. The boy, however, watched in awe as GabeN approached and said in a soothing voice: "Boy, you have shown yourself willing to transcend the peasantry your house has been cursed with. No child shall be left wanting for a true gaming experience."
As he said these words, GabeN scratched his glorious beard and there appeared, right next to the TV, a battlestation.
"No, you cannot have a PC in the living room", shouted the parents, only now regaining the senses. GabeN, smiling at their childlike ignorance, merely said: "Go ahead, boy" and the boy turned on the PC. Instantly, the room was filled with bright lights. The SSD hard drive allowed the PC to power up in mere seconds. On the Desktop, there was but a single icon. It was a circle with a strange, Greek letter in the middle, that the boy did not immediately recognize. When he started the game, it struck him. The Lord GabeN had gifted him with Half-Life 3, the game of legends. Upon seeing the ingame graphics, his parents were weeping tears of disbelief.
"How can this exist?", the father stammered.
"How could we have been so blind?", the mother cried.
They each hugged their child and GabeN saw that his work was done. As he set out to leave, the family asked him how they could ever repay his kindness. He answered: "I ask only that you help other peasants in need of guidance." With those word he vanished, only the sparkling of his beard lingering a few more seconds.
The family played and played all through the night until they fell asleep by their new PC. In the chimney, faintly glowing, there were only the remains of their consoles.