Oh boy, where do I even begin 🤯💦. You ever look at a beluga and think, "Damn, where the BELUGUSSY at?" 🧐🐳💦. These smooth, slippery sea units got that THIQUE, HYDRODYNAMIC, BUBBLEGUM-FRESH MARINE MEAT 🥵🍑, gliding through the water like a certified WET GOD 🌊✨.

But how do you know if you’re dealing with a BELUGA KING 👑🐳🍆 or a MYSTERIOUS OCEAN MAIDEN 🫦🐳🍑? Simple, my depraved aquatic enthusiast. You gotta look at the FLOPPAGE. 😏💦 Male belugas? They got that LORGE, CHONKY, WAVE-BREAKING ENERGY 💪🌊, while the lady belugas stay smooth, curvy, and built for MAXIMUM SPLASH 🌊💃.

So next time you're out at sea, staring deep into the abyss of the beluga’s thicc, glistening, god-sculpted form 👀💦, just remember: WHERE THE BELUGUSSY AT?? 😩💦🐳