Whenever I played among us I’d get hard like really hard. The idea that I could be an innocent crewmate trying to survive when a dominant imposter is out looking for me is just… Or when I’m the imposter and I see the fear in pink’s eyes when I’m about to kill them…. The adrenaline from emergency meetings… It all makes me so horny, today I decided that instead of normal porn I’d wank to among us porn and god it was life changing, the orgasm was strong I was shaking ♥♥♥ was everywhere!! The thought of crewmate just doing their tasks not knowing Im behind them ready to strike… I came super quickly and Id do it again, I infact might do it again right now as I got really hard while telling you this.

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

Then the following happened. About a week my father wasn't catching carps. One week I was like in a fog, I wanted to ♥♥♥♥ a fish, I even was thinking about catching a carp myself, but I was lazy and I hated fishing. Dad only catched a small pike, maybe because it was late autumn, and he was saying that it was not the time for fishing carps. I remember that he was starting to suspect me about my mania of carps, but I was saying that I just like them and that is all.

After that, my father got an 8kg catfish. I really wanted to ♥♥♥♥ a fish, and I looked at this one. Mouth was good looking. the concern was about his teeth, but I thought they won't do anything other than scratch a little bit. So I decided to stick it in. I took the fish out of its bowl, whipped out my wiener, fapped a bit and inserted it into alive catfish's mouth. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ it for a minute, but then the catfish decided to rip my ♥♥♥♥ out with its mouth.

After that, I forgot about this event, and dad later sold this carp on market. But when father was bringing small, 1-2 kg carps to home, I started ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ them too. All year I was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ carps, and what is more, small carps were better, since my ♥♥♥♥ was fitting perfectly into their tiny mouths. I liked ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ them while they were alive, when they were moving their lips up and down on my ♥♥♥♥. In a half of a year I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ over 40 - 50 carps. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ them several times a day, came into their anuses, sometimes I even was sticking my shaft into frozen ones. One time I even tried ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a bream, but his mouth was too small. Later I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a chub, but still, carps were the best, and when dad was asking what fish to catch tomorrow, I always was answering with "carps", since "their meat is tasty".

I live in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up village, I have an older sister, mother and father. My dad is a fisherman. He often brings home big carps, catfishes, pikes and sanders. But most of all I liked carps, they were like golden giants.

One year ago, I was fapping at home. Suddenly, I heard my father with his friends. I quickly turned off porn and launched Skyrim. Company of my father walked in, I stood up to greet them, and I saw big, 9 kg carp in my father's hands. I shared with him his triumph. Father left the carp at home in wet blanket and went with his friends to bar. I stayed at home and decided to look the carp.

He was still alive and his giant mouth was moving. I, for some reason, imagined this carp giving me a blowjob. Then I felt that my ♥♥♥♥ was erect. I think you already guessed what happened next - I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ his mouth and came inside. I enjoyed it.

I was going to ♥♥♥. I didn't want to ♥♥♥ everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. My turtle was painted with my ♥♥♥ in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago.

Why the ♥♥♥♥ would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I ♥♥♥, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late.

"I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. ♥♥♥♥. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said.

."I HAVE CALLED AN EMERGENCY MEETING! THE BOSS IS DEAD! THE IMPOSTER KILLED HIM! WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO THE IMPOSTER IS! Everyone was yelling at me to stop. But I wasn't gonna stop until I killed everyone here as the imposter.

When I went to work the next day, I immediately ran to the elevator. I already saw Chad running towards me but it was already closed when he got to the elevator. It was travelling to my boss' office. When I got up I ran at him and kicked him out the window."You are s u s ." I said as I watched him fall out. His body splat on the pavement and was ran over by multiple cars below. I caused a traffic jam.I went back into the elevator and went to floor 5. I ran down the hall in the naruto run, you know the funny naruto run from anime? And I got on the intercom or whatever that ♥♥♥♥ is called."All crewmembers of the ship, please report to the bottom floor for an emergency meeting." I naruto ran down the stairs to the bottom floor. I stood on the table in the middle of the office and stomped.

So I went into work and I started working. I decided to install Among Us to play, right? But my boss was walking by and said "Hey, why are you playing video games on the work computer?" I said that I was playing Among Us and asked him if he was uncultured. He told me to get out so I said "Quit being sus." And I did the funny imposter is sus grin you guys know? And I slapped his face and yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING!" Everybody in the office was looking at me like I just murdered several bosnian children. So I pulled out my ♥♥♥♥ and said "Look at this little spaceman!" I took off my pants and ran around the office with my ♥♥♥♥ flying around. The buff guy, Chad, was chasing me but I just got behind him and humped him. I said "good imposters get butt humps." He screamed and punched me. I ran out work not wanting to work with a bunch of REDDITORPHOBES.

He didn't even get my anime reference. So I took off my pants and shoved them on my his head. "You just got pantsed! HAhahahah" and I did the pepe smile and ran out of the office. Who wants to talk to an IMPOSTER? Stupid ♥♥♥♥♥

When I went into the office the next day everybody ignored me. So I walked up to a coworker and said "Hey, why are you ignoring me, you're a bit sussy!" He reached for the red phone and I was reminded it looked like the Among us character. So I said "When the phone is sus hahahahhah" and I did the Linus tech tips disappointed face. "Get it? Do you use reddit?" He was talking to management when I cut the phone cord and threw it across the office. I said "Red was the imposter! hahahah!" And I did the among us drip song. "Ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding!" He wasn't smiling and he punched me but I said "You're sus! You're the imposter I saw you vent!" He was angry and he tried to punch me again but I grabbed his fist and said "Omae wa mo shinderu." He tried to punch me again he is a loser!

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.

Flying, and travel in general, is stressful. And want to know one of the best stress relievers? That's right, masturbation. So what if a person wants to relieve some of that tension by spanking the monkey or flicking the bean? There's nothing wrong with paddling the pink canoe or Jackin' the beanstalk. It's totally natural to give yourself a nice little under the pants handshake. We all need to visit the purple headed soldier from time to time. It's not hurting anyone so if it's not your forte, just put on your headphones and ignore the man next to you playing a solo on his skin flute. Society should be way more accepting of masturbation on airplanes.

wow. You called my joke unfunny. The amount of pain I feel from you calling my joke unfunny is just too much. I've been sobbing for hours because you called my joke unfunny. The amount of tears I've cried can fill an entire Olympic swimming pool. I just cant bare the thought of a random person on the internet calling my joke unfunny and,,, not good???? My entire ego, life, aspirations, and well being have been crushed after that statement. I don't think I can process the thought of a useless internet meme I posted being called anything but extremely funny. You have literally made me unable to function anymore because of this. Currently, the affects of you calling my joke unfunny are starting to affect my physical and mental health. If it gets any worse I will have to seek medical attention. Sadly, I don't think the affects of you calling my joke unfunny are reversible. I'd need a medical miracle to recover from you denouncing my lazily put together, copy pasted joke.

"hello franklin clinton, my african american friend. may i enter your abode?"

"wornk"

"gasp. my african american friend. do not have feelings of mistrust or hatred towards me because i am of a better looking quality when compared to thee. i suggest that you removed that terrible haircut that you have, you would obtain some women and engage in sexual intercourse with them. oh, what would be even better for you, it's possible that tanisha will telephone thine disgusting canine rectum instead of engaging in sexual congress with that surgeon who carries out emergency surgery on the general cranial region or that partner of the law she is currently having sex with. african american friendddddd"

"what"

"i will now show my middle finger on my left hand to signal that i would like you to stop talking to me as i walk away from your home in davis."

yes, you can run away by ignoring my friend request OR, better yet, you can accept it, take 5 minutes to play an aim map against me (whenever you aren't busy, not necessarily right now), and prove how much of a pathetic and scrub player am I. More than worth it, don't you think? Consider it an early Christmas present.

I can't see a reasonable reason why wouldn't go with the latter, do you?

I'm not a kid who challenges players to a 1V1 match, but then again, up until this match with you, I haven't been told I have such terrible aim (on the contrary, I've been told the opposite, but who am I to speak? I'm just a blubbering monkey you are about to discipline. Hopefully).

I will not bother you with further friend requests, if you decline it again, I'll just assume you're a pathetic coward who cannot stand behind his words (in all honesty - no offense, but again - I can't see any other reason you'd decline), and leave you be.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gunshots interrupted my masturbation.

So there I was. Under my bedsheets comfortable and I had some 3.9 star hentai on and then suddenly, I just hear 6 shots.

Now, at first I just thought they were fireworks because its nearing the fourth of July. So I just kept on wanking but as soon as I was near the end if my session, I hear 3 more REALLY loud shots causing my erection to dissapear.

Now, at this point I was just pissed off because some random guy just happened to launch fireworks mid-nut. So I look out my window and see some dude runnin with a gun in his hand and another man running away from him.

Needless to say, I noped my ass back to bed and am trying to get another erection.

TLDR; ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ guns ruined my hentai

Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm cleaning up my friends list. Unfortunately you didn't make the cut in staying on it, and I am sorry. We never become better and more prosperous if we don't learn from our mistakes. Also, I have no interest in trying to be friends with someone who thinks they have (250) friends or whatever you're up to now. Do you even have 1 real friend or just collecting people you don't know on steam? Either way I don't think you know or have any clue what you're doing and I want nothing to do with it.

My penis is very ticklish. As soon as I penetrate, I almost die laughing and have to withdraw. It's very uncomfortable. I try using condoms that inhibit sensation to help premature ejaculation, and this helps a little, but it's still very ticklish. This is hurting my relationship and I think my wife will leave me if this isn't resolved. I didn't have this problem until a couple months ago, I don't know how it started.

Hello 👋 can you please delete your account and create a new username? It illustrates little self respect of your name (Victor) and also illustrates impatience due to the fact you did not attempt to search for a better one. You could correct it to Victor (+) one of your major life accomplishments, as opposed to overwriting parts of your name with numbers. For example, with me it could be "DingbangBillionaire" or "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" or "LamboDingbang", however, due to the stunning uniqueness of my name this was not needed. I understand you have a more generic name as well as less life accomplishments, so you could opt for something less brilliant, for example "NeckbeardVictor" or "VictorPewdieFanboy". Thanks and I hope you correct yourself! 👍😎👍

Do you think this ♥♥♥♥ is funny? Super ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Mario ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Brothers ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 2!? Everybody knows that there are NO PIPES in that game. None. Are you dunk photoshopping or are you too young to drink? A Boo covering its eyes could have picked a better cover, such as any Mario game except for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SMB2. Like the ones that actually have PIPES. Or even Super Mario 3D Land which already HAS A PIPE ON THE COVER. If Wart saw you doing this to HIS Dream Kingdom HE'd be smashing your face in with a turnip. HE'd shove carrots in your eye sockets, a POW block up your ass, and then Phanto your ass till you self destruct by ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a brick. I bet you always picked Mario in that game, the worst character at everything. Go sit in some quicksand.

hey buddy there are a lot of Christians who play Minecraft you shouldn’t say those mean things we don’t want you to get in trouble for it I’m just warning you here so just try to be nicer and to be respectful and to be nice so you can help be a better person and just be careful because you can get in trouble for swearing and being mean so just try to be nice so everyone can be happy and healthy and nice and get along and be happy so yeah thanks that’s all I just want to help you be nice so yeah bye and be nicer ok?

Okay guys. This community seems pretty nice, so I'm going to tell you all about my, uh, condition, in confidence. I have a thing where if I press my belly button my ♥♥♥♥ and balls drop to the floor. They basically turn into human spaghetti. Everyone in gym laughs at me because my ♥♥♥♥ and balls slam down so hard it pulls down my pants with it. All my friends have left me now and the only dates I can get are with 40 year old gay men and weird women who are into BDSM. Is there something I can do to fix this?

I am a 19 year old female college student, my husband is 39 and 250 pounds and 4"9. I was incredibly dissatisfied with his 3 inch shrimpcock so I went to a party and let 7 or so guys ♥♥♥♥ me in a gangbang. My husband got really pissed for some reason and demanded to break up with me and said he would never give me my weekly $10,000 paycheck again. It is MY body, and I should be able to have sex with as many people as I want in our marriage. I said to him multiple times I wanted an open relationship so I thought he meant he accepted it every time he furiously left the room.

All in all, AITA for cheating on my husband? I'll send a pic of my ass to whoever wants it to prove i can't just keep myself from ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ everyone.

Hey guys i was having sex with a prostitute today on the street corner in broad daylight and i saw she had a big ol dingus danglin downwards so i turned around and sucked her big ol dingus until she shidded and farded on my ♥♥♥♥. Some of that swirled down my own dingle dangle and now my peen tingles i think i have genital herpes or aids. I went to a doctor to get it checked out but he just started making me chocolate dip his butthole like i was a lolipop goin into a tub of yoghurt flavourer with rainbow and chemical soap. After squishing around in the doctors virgin ass, i ran straight away from the doctors office. I found the prostitute i ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and asked her why she let me get the genital bumps on her behalf and all she said was "hey my slick daddy nibba it rly b like that stay woke" and then she hit a phat dab and my ♥♥♥♥ fell off so i picked it up and put it in my pocket and walked home. How was your day?

This is a smarmy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ comment and you’re simply trying to get a rise out of people. You know EXACTLY what he means but you’re fixated on trying to appear hyper intelligent. Bad news bub; you look like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot.

Stop being a prick. We are all super impressed that you know how to fly a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ plane. I know how to do other ♥♥♥♥ I’m qualified to do as well. Shut up, act your age, and respect our nations largest national tragedy, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ disgrace.

Mothers, sisters, brothers, dads, children, friends died and your sad old ass is using it as a leaping board to brag about driving a sky car. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ loser. I’m super ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ impressed. Eat ♥♥♥♥. Dork.

Sure, slave Leia might've been hot, but she wasn't *sexy.* Not like slave Anakin, a beautiful blonde. His long, Chad-like hair entices even the most stubborn of men. Once close enough to see through his golden bangs, his eyes become visible. His beautiful, blue eyes, deep like the sea. But the Slave Anakin package does not stop there, oh no. His short figure tricks the eye into believing his other features, such as his juicy ass, are larger, more plump, than it would otherwise be. Slave Leia stood at 5'1, making her a whole six inches taller than Anakin. Her ass is visibly less voluptuous due to this. Not only does slave Anakin have his juicy ass, his pretty blue eyes, and his beautiful hair on his side, he is also *literally Jesus.* It is common knowledge that Anakin was a product of a virgin birth, both making him closer to Jesus because of the nature of his birth, *and* making him actual Jesus because God is his father. Now, you tell me which one you'd rather love.

Me [19F] with my boyfriend [19M] of 1 year, how can I make him stop using twitch memes in every day conversation?

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarrassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...)

I swear this sounds like a meme post but I promise this is my real life ;___;

tl;dr boyfriend won't stop with the embarrassing twitch phrases and I'm concerned it's interfering with his social skills..

♥♥♥♥ YOU. I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times. GET ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ORIGINAL. Jesus ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ christ. Stop saying the same ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thing over and over and over again. Just because you don't agree with me DOES NOT HAVE ♥♥♥♥ TO DO WITH PARTIES. What the ♥♥♥♥. Do you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your ♥♥♥♥♥♥-ass parties in the first place. I'll stick to my wine and cheese dinners, you know, REAL ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PARTIES. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original. You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet. You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. WELL I'M ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tired. of it. I'm tired. Say that to me one more ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time and I will find you. I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun.

It's not clever. It's really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hurtful. Thanks a lot, ♥♥♥♥. So what if you don't like what I said. Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chain and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ report all you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties. Try me. I will do it. I will go STRAIGHT TO THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOP and then I'll be the one laughing while you beg for my mercy. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony? I'll say "You must be fun at parties." So yeah, If you must know, I am pretty fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, ♥♥♥♥.

Last night on ABC's premium show, James from Texas SHOCKED the entire Shark Tank cast with one simple trick to turbo charge your Se x Drive
and give you stiffy's that are as long as you need them to be.

Everyone was shocked by this men's presentation and the sharks invested nearly 200 million!

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Actually, he did. He bought this for me on our ten-year anniversary. Not only is he my lover, he's my best friend and my soulmate. I'm not ashamed of who I love, nor should I be. For someone with strange abilities due to, I assume, accidental exposure to radioactive spider-blood, you're not very tolerant of those different to yourself. You're on the wrong side of history, Spider-Man.

Holy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the town hall I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sex with Isabelle. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Isabelle's tight dog ♥♥♥♥♥. I want her to have my mutant human/dog babies.

♥♥♥♥, my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mom caught me with the neighbors dog. I'd dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my 3DS. I might not ever get to see Isabelle again.

I can make you cry because this game is my city. But i don't have a bucket for you to cry. So cry a river for African kids, at least they'll have something to drink.

-Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then i ran. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

As a matter of a fact, I didn't have many friends. I was held down and beaten with various weapons by a bunch of delinquents who made my life hell until I finally graduated because I decided to stand up for other people and shield them from it. In fact, I still feel some of the aftermath of that damage today when I make sudden movements. However, I had a few very good friends, and someone I lived for, which prevented me from killing myself. I am fine now. I have grown into a responsible, working adult who helps people who have been through similar things. I am much happier since the end of last year, and am going to move out with a woman that I love very much.

So here's the thing:

I am a strong person, and I can deal with your attempts at bullying and harassement, but one day, by acting so agressively, you are going to hurt someone whose skin is nowhere near as thick as mine and cause irreversible damage. I would urge you to mellow down.

Need I overstate the obvious? I was early. Not 2009 early. But summer 2015 early. Earlyish. Only three years ago. Bought at 605 and 705. Currently sits 11,300. Merely a month ago WE WERE ALL DYING OF JOY THAT 'Will it hit 10k?' fever was coming on. Crash? My asscrack. True noobs should not even be ruffled. This kind of BTC behavior ALWAYS results in 'To the moon, Alice.' Relax and buy this delicious dip. You will thank yourself later. (And be joyous if you did not fall in with Bitconnect.) Sincerely, Lieutenant Obvious, Corn Battalion

I remember this little woman I had a huge crush on. She used to run away from me...lol. Sad thing is, her being a redhead and a nice shape, I thought she just had conflicting thoughts running through her head about me always wanting to talk to her. It also hurt my chances because it was a colleague's contact.

Well, I see her years later with a guy...kinda nerdy like...I was crushed. She stared at me and said: "Hiiiiii...I remember you!" The hell?!?!? I wanted her years ago and now you get it? Lol

Now I'm crushing on another little woman....but she's online only. Where are all the cute little women? Heh

How the ♥♥♥♥ did all of your ancestors manage to survive to create you? No really, I am curious. Because what you just said there was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. I am utterly dumbfounded on just how you can have such terrible reasoning skills, yet at the same time have the mental capacity to type this horrendous piece of trash on the Internet. Is English even your first language? Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid? Do you have a concussion? I really want to understand why you are so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dense so I can raise my kids to not end up like you. As far as I know, you can't even read half the stuff I am typing up right now, so I will bring it down to your level.

You, dumb.

Sometimes, whenever I eat M&Ms, I like to hold two m&m's in between my fingers and squeeze as hard as I can until one m&m cracks. I eat the cracked one, and the one that didn't crack becomes the champion. Then I grab the other m&m, and force it to compete with the champion in this deadly game of m&m gladiators. I do this until I run out of m&m's, and when there is only one m&m left standing, I send a letter to m&m's brand with the champion m&m in it with a note attached that reads: "Please use this m&m for breeding purposes."

youre probably lying but whatever i know when a girl is lying to me but whatever you fat slag i hope you die one day and dont bother sending another message because ive blocked you fat slag get your friends involved ill threaten them okay dont bother and one more thing ♥♥♥♥ you

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ vegans shoving their morals down our throats.

Look, we've evolved to eat ass. That's why we have canine teeth. Animals in the wild eat ass all the time, so why would you give me flack for just going along with nature? I'm not a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ herbivore.

The human body needs ass to function. If I were to stop eating them, I would go weak. Don't you get shaky and pale on a non - ass diet? Supplements aren't enough, and fake ass is disgusting.

At the end of the day, I just think my love of ass trumps the rights of ass. I mean, they're just ass. They're stupid. I'm an intelligent adult, and so I clearly fall into a different moral category.

Just ♥♥♥♥ off and let me eat my ass.

I just learned that girls farts smell better than video games.

Seriously. You know that new game package smell? Like when you just took off the wrapping? My god, its a glorious smell. I've masturbated sniffing this smell so many times. It's great and the main reason I still buy games.

But my sister just farted on the couch next to me while I was playing Street Fighter IV. She blushed got up fanned her ass and ran to the bathroom to, I assume, ♥♥♥♥ or maybe she ♥♥♥♥ herself while she was next to me, there was some extra bulge in the back of her jeans. Now let me reiterate. She was sitting directly next to me. In effect, she farted on my side and then waved fart gas from her butt to my face. Now you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ listen to me. This smelled glorious. I immediately became rock hard and didn't give a ♥♥♥♥, I pulled my ♥♥♥♥ out and masturbated right there smelling my own sister fart. I didn't even care that I got beat by a scrub Ken while I was jerking off.

you forgot to capitalize the 'I", otherwise, impressive sentence structure and grammar for your IQ. Dumb people like you really need to learn to stay in your own "lane" as they say, you need to be in the far right lane buddy, for your under 60IQ. The left lane, just like the political spectrum is reserved for intellectuals, and world shapers like me, with over 180IQ. Please understand I don't mean to offend you, but to just show you how different the world is from a more intellectual point of view.

When I turned 9, I learned about masturbation. I tried to touch myself to pornography, but it didn't work. As I grew older, I realized I felt arousal when I saw photographs of Luigi. My first orgasm was to a picture of Luigi crossdressing. It still makes me horny. I remember the first feeling of sexual attraction to Luigi. I imagine him in bed with me. I want Luigi to make me come over and over until I'm panting and I can't take it anymore. I'm too horny to continue writing this.