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Rivers are damp.
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give.
Gas smells awful--
You might as well live!
-- Dorothy Parker, "Resume", 1926
😚
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
🤧
There's no justice in this world.
-- Frank Costello, on the prosecution of "Lucky" Luciano by
New York district attorney Thomas Dewey after Luciano had
saved Dewey from assassination by Dutch Schultz (by ordering
the assassination of Schultz instead)
🤣
If you [Carrot] were dice, you'd always roll sixes.
And the dice don't roll themselves. If it wasn't against everything he wanted to be true about the world, Vimes might just then have believed in destiny controlling people. And gods help the other people who were around when a big destiny was alive in the world, bending every poor bugger around itself...
(The Fifth Elephant)
🤗