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It's not that he can't aim – no, no – it's the German internet's fault. Totally. We all know Germany, famous for its medieval Wi-Fi, right? Fiber optics? Never heard of her.
At this point, I’m convinced Sasha hasn’t been sober since CS:GO launched. Or maybe he's just roleplaying a Counter-Strike ghost – haunting bombsites, occasionally making unintelligible callouts like a confused IKEA employee.
Some say he’s “washed,” but I say he’s just ahead of his time. Like, post-skill era. Honestly, Sasha, maybe it’s time to hang up the AK and pick up something more your speed – like a nice round of Roblox Obby or maybe some Minesweeper speedruns. 👴🎮
Much love, legend. May your bullets eventually find their targets, and your ping find its purpose.