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>He reaches into my pants and takes my wallet
>I'm ready
>He starts ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ my wallet
>His ♥♥♥♥ is a vacuum
>it hurts so much but I do it for Gabe
>I feel my wallet tearing as my TF2 inventory starts to fill with virtual hats
>I give him more money
>I want to please Gabe
>He laughs a mighty laugh as he fills my library with games that I will never have the time to play
>My girlfriend walks in
>Gabe looks her straight in the eye and says, "Thanks, and have fun!"
>GabeN leaves through my window
>Gabe is love, Gabe is life
>I loved GabeN so much, I had all the Steam games and Valve Store merchandise
>I prayed to Gabe every night before bed, thanking him for the free game weekends and sales
>"GabeN is love" I say, "GabeN is life"
>My girlfriend hears me and calls me a lazy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
>I knew she was just jealous of my devotion to Gabe
>I called her a ♥♥♥♥♥
>She says "I'M SO SICK OF YOUR ♥♥♥♥" and runs out of the house
>I'm crying now
>I lay in bed, and it's really cold
>A warmth is moving towards me
>I feel something touch me
>It's GabeN
>I am so happy