How? Cristiano Ronaldo CR7, the real guy, just stopped me by the bakery and handed me a gold-plated croissant then told me hes going to mars! Now I’m floating somewhere over the Adriatic Sea in a shiny, futuristic space pod. We’ve run into minor turbulence tho—apparently caused by the little man in pajamas, who’s casually steering an asteroid toward us. I’m informing Cristiano Ronaldo CR7, the real guy, that we need to make an emergency descent back to Earth... but he’s too busy doing keepie-uppies with zero-gravity footballs. If i don't make it, buy my stocks.

Larry should've never been in Taiwan! What is going on, I told him mexico! MEXICO! Jesus do i have to do everything myself... I'm on my way, I'll meet you next to the statue of the tiny man in pajamas.

How are you a flight risk when they checked my luggage and found the weapon. You should be free in Taiwan, who tf took ur flight

Bailed you out of jail, you're free now