carl „⨭⌄⨮„'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:07am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 12:49pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 12:17pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:25am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:32am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 12:17pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 6:26pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 22 Oct, 2020 @ 11:36pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2020 @ 12:50am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 1:51pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 3:40pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 7:30pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2020 @ 12:29am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 7:01pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 1:04pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 22 Oct, 2020 @ 11:57pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 9 Nov, 2023 @ 7:20pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 3:27am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:37am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 12:31pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 12:43pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 7:01pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 2:45pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 3:06pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2023 @ 2:59pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 14 Jan @ 3:06pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 3:38pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 12:18pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 7:56pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 6:54pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2023 @ 11:55pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 8:51pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 22 Oct, 2020 @ 11:37pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:17am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 12:00pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:06am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 5:42pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 6:09pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:38am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 7:23pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 1:40pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 16 Nov, 2020 @ 5:08pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 5:40pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2020 @ 8:31am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2023 @ 3:32pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2023 @ 1:48pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2020 @ 11:35am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 3:43pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 4:12am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 4:59am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 16 Nov, 2020 @ 5:53pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2020 @ 12:34pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2023 @ 7:32pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Unlocked 10 Nov, 2023 @ 5:44pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2023 @ 9:55pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2023 @ 11:57pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2020 @ 5:34am

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2023 @ 5:46pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2023 @ 4:11pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 9 Nov, 2023 @ 8:32pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 10 Nov, 2023 @ 5:29pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2023 @ 7:24pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 6:44pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

15 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

22 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20