客气

Seven O'Clock in the evening
Watchin' somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says "is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynard Skynard?"
And I say I don't know
Say, it's gettin' late, watcha wanna do for dinner?
She says "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could eat"

She said "So whadya have in mind?"
I said I don't know what about you?
She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat"
I said that's what we're gonna do!
But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!
And she says "let me think,
What's left in our refrigerator?"
I said well, there's tuna, I know
She said "That went bad a week ago!"
I said is the chili okay?
She said "you finished that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said
I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?
She's like "why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"
I'm like no, I said 'delivered'
She's like "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like I should know what I said
She's like "whatever, I just don't want any liver!"
Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry
Callin' for the third time today
My wife said "Let it go to voicemail"
I said okay
Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d'ya want to do?
She said "why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?"
Yeah, I said why don't you?
And then she said "baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no
She says "yes"
I says no
She says "yes"
I says no
She says "yes
Oh, here's your keys"
I step a little bit closer
Say okay, where ya want to go?
She says "how about The Ivy?"
I said yeah, well I don't know
I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
She's says "Olive Garden?"
I say nah, I'm not in the mood

And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt
She says "Just forget about it"
I said no, I swear I'm gonna take you out!
Then I get an idea
I says I know what we'll do!
She says "What?"
I say, guess?
She says "What?"
I say we're goin' to the drive-thru!
So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order
There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?
My wife says "maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride
Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?"
I said yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese
Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time"
I said you always get a cheeseburger!
She says "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
I don't know who you are anymore!