So last night I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ the missus in the back of the van in some empty beach side car park and the legit ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ second I bust a nut a group of like five or so maggot ♥♥♥♥♥ rock up so I’m in the back of the van trying to not turn a light on a find a towel or something to clean up with, missus is hunting for her knickers by touch and the ♥♥♥♥♥ come over and start rocking the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ van, I’m stark naked with ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ jizz over half my arm and thigh and not in the ideal position to get out the van and try staunch a ♥♥♥♥ so the first thing that pops in my mind is to lower my voice an octave or so and add a croak to it and yell “ELIZABETH, WHERE THE ♥♥♥♥♥ ME BAT AT?” and proceed to yell obscenities along the lines of “♥♥♥♥ OFF YA MONGRELS, WAIT TILL I FIND ME SMACKING STICK” and fumble around the back of the van pretending I’m looking for ♥♥♥♥ still with my splerg covering half my limbs and thank ♥♥♥♥ it worked cause the ♥♥♥♥♥ started to jog down the street pissing themselves laughing but not gonna lie I was a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hair breadth of getting out the van and wiping my man milk on a ♥♥♥♥