If we're going to die, I want you to know something. I was in the pharmacy a while ago. There was a really good-looking pharmacist behind the counter. Really good-looking. I went up and asked her where the cough syrup was. I didn't even have a cough, and I almost bought it. I'm talking about a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup, which costs like six bucks.

so my girlfriend became my arch enemy, my arch enemy became my best friend, and my best friend became my girlfriend

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!