"The BOSS of this family TOLD YOU you're gonna be Santa Claus, you're Santa Claus. So shut the f u c k up about it" -Paulie
"Stop with the pots and pans" -T
"I loved that c o c k s u c k e r like a brother. And he f u c k e d me in the ass" -Paulie
"In the end, f u c k Santa Claus" -Paulie
"You're not gonna believe this, he killed 16 Czechoslovakians. The guy was an interior decorator" -Paulie
"His house looked like s h i t" -Chrissy
"Tomorrow I can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever" -Ralphie
"Hooo, it's the girls from Icelandic Air!" -Chrissy
"A don doesn't wear shorts" -Carmine
"Is that him?! With the sombrero on??" -Chrissy
"It's got more carats than Bugs Bunny" -Chrissy
"You're on ziti patrol too? Ro's got Thursdays" -Ralphie
"He was gay, Gary Cooper?" -Chrissy
"Oh, speaking of 98 pounds. I hear Ginny Sac's getting a 95-pound mole taken off her ass!" -Ralphie
"She's so fat, she goes camping, the bears have to hide their food" -Paulie
"Two guys can f u c k her at the same time, and still never meet" -Gigi
"F u c k e d up thing is I don't even like Ralph. If he were drowning, I'd throw him a cinder block" -T
"That one's a slippery f u c k, huh? Him and those big fish lips of his?" -Junior
"Look at this, the 5th question and the poor prick used all his lifelines" -Junior
"NICOTINE'S AN ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE!" -Johnny Sac
"YOU KNEW YOU WERE DAMAGED GOODS AND YOU NEVER F U C K I N G TOLD ME?!" -Chrissy
"I don't understand, when I was a kid, you two were old ladies. Now I'm old, and you two are still old" -Paulie
"Holy cow! So there's an origin for everything" -Patsy
"This is Xanadu compared to that court room" -Junior
"You want me to f u c k off? How about I f u c k off all over your stupid f u c k i n g face?!" -Feech
"Here Ma, rest those dogs" -Paulie
"How about this humidity?" -Shah of Iran
"He never had the makings of a varsity athlete" -Junior
"GOOD THING FOR ME, THEN, THAT YOUR BOOK DONT MEAN OOGATZ TO ME!" -Feech
"Make sure you form a seal when you shut that freezer door" -Junior
"It's all over anyhow..." -Junior
"The point I'm trying to illustrate is that, of course no one wants all-out conflict. But historically, historical changes have come out of war" -Little Carmine
"The fundamental question is: Will I be as effective as a boss like my dad was? And I will be. Even more so. But until I am... It's gonna be hard to verify that I think I'll be more effective" -Little Carmine
"The only thing you have anything is because of my f u c k i n gsweat. And you knew every step of the way exactly how it works. But you walk around in that f u c k i n g mansion, in your $500 shoes and diamond rings. And you act like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth. And you don't want it to get ugly? Too late." -T
"That's the guy, Adriana. My uncle Tony. The guy I'm going to hell for" -Chrissy
"All due respect, you got no f u c k i n g idea what it's like to be number 1. Every decision you make, affects every facet of every other f u c k i n g thing. It's too much to deal with almost. And in the end, you're completely alone with it all" -T
"I had a bananer in there!" -Uncle Jun
"Spring time. Pollen's outta control" -Sil
"Only to have that mother f u c k i n g animal, Blundetto..." - Shah of Iran
"OOFF MADDON'! He looks terrible!" -Paulie
"HE'S IN A LOT BETTA SHAPE THAN THOSE NUNS YOU GOT UP THERE!" -Paulie
"I'll tell ya one thing, and I'm not ashamed to say it. My estimation of John Sacramoni as a man, just f u c k i n plummeted" -Shah of Iran
"I'll tell you one thing, if it was me this kid was spreading rumors about, he'd have something in his own a s s. And it wouldn't be no ♥♥♥♥, either" -Paulie
"So what do we gotta do, Ton? Actually see him take it up the ass?" -Chrissy
"Oh yeah? Maybe YOU'RE a flambé!" -Paulie
"Vito a f a g. Big construction tycoon. Ton, when he was always talking about greasing the union, who knew that's what he meant?" -Chrissy
"In light of recent humiliations, it's an honor to be joined by men. And not f a g g o t a s s cornholin c o c k suckers like married my cousin. He should f u c k i n g die" -Shah of Iran
"Little Carmine? It's common knowledge the guy's retarded" -T
"This isn't omerta, it's something else" -Melfi
"F u c k the hat" -Paulie
"Just water for me, my son will be my strength" -Chrissy
"If it has an inside, we're buying it" -Chrissy
"Easy on the sugar honey, they tell me I'm sweet enough" -Shah of Iran
"I've been having headaches, I'm afraid maybe the thing mestastesized" -Paulie
"I'd rather face 10 guys with shivs than something I can't see" -Paulie
"I did 20 f u c k i n years!" -Shah of Iran
"You sandbag me? I cut your f u c k i n throat open" -T
"I'm sure it gets complicated. When you're taking it up your f a g a s s" -T
"I'm not a f a g, I never was. It was the medication I was on, for my blood pressure. It f u c k e d with my head, but I'm over that now. I can probably get a letter from my doctor" -Vito
"What? A note from your doctor saying you don't like to suck c o c k?" -T
"I got something for you, for your trip. Now this is the real Louis Vitoon" -T
"Remember the penguin movie, how you cried? You sit on an egg for months, one little thing goes wrong, you're left with nothing" -Chrissy
"It's over for the little guy" -Patsy
"F u c k ' s this waiter on, sabbatical?" -Jerry Torchiano
"Isaac Newton invented gravity cause some a s s h o l e hit him with an apple" -Chrissy
"Remember when is the lowest form of conversation" -T
"What are you chasing, money or a high from winning?" -Melfi
"What's wrong with you? You look like a Puerto Rican ♥♥♥♥♥, you make me sick" -Shah of Iran
"It's the same principle as the solar system" -T
"Let me tell you a couple of three things" -Shah of Iran
"There's no scraps in my scrap book" -Shah of Iran
"F u c k you want, a boutonniere?" -Junior