Recent reviews by the professor

I woke up one morning in a cold sweat, tears running down my face. I was mortified. I could not believe what I had just seen in my dream. Years go by and I am still searching for this dark figure I saw in my dream when I was 12. One day when I am at school a good friend of mine is talking about this new game that he just found out about. Hotline Miami. I go home and check it out. I search it up on google and the first thing I see is a 10/10 rating. 5 stars. I buy it on steam without a second thought. I open it up, I start playing. The figure I see... I remember from the dream that had haunted me for the past 5 years. I have found it. The character. Kills people. He kills my mother. He kills my father. He kills my sister. He kills my brother. He... Kills... Me...

8/10 Gives me murder flashbacks. The other point I deducted was because there were no fidget spinners to be found. I was really upset by this because I can not go anywhere without my luxury 24 karat gold fidget spinner.

Awful in every sense of the word, ESPECIALLY when you compare it to its predecessors.

But, before I begin, there's something you must know - The first two FlatOut games were made by Bugbear Entertainment, and they were phenominal racing games, especially FlatOut 2. This game? Totally different company that completely misunderstood everything Bugbear had done right.

First things first, the AI is pitiful. I know the name of the game is destruction, literally, but it's a RACING game, and I'd rather have people using force to win the race than veering off the track in the first lap to wrestle in the grass like kittens.

On this note, *everyone* targets you. I went into one demolition derby round, and it was hilariously stupid the way it worked. As soon as the countdown hit zero, the twenty-or-so other non-player racers veered to the opposite side like the Persian army and all ganged up on me at once, with the exception of, what, like, two motorists smashing each other's bumpers in. I mean, I played FlatOut 2's derby mode religiously, and it sometimes feels like the AI prioritizes you over their brethren, but even in it worst state it was nothing compared to this insanity.

Now, it's time to compare it to its predecessors - Yes, Flatout 3 was made by a different company than the first two, but being a sequel by its title, I have to rate it in comparison to its past successes in the franchise.

The other NPC's -- The way this development team tried to recreate Bugbear's non-player character gimmick is awful. If you haven't played FlatOut 2, lemme give you the jist of things - There were seven NPC's that were the only opponents in the game. They all had distinct driving styles, color schemes, and skills in different racing areas. They were so memorable thanks to this that you had those names ingrained into your brain after your first couple of races and figured out very quickly whose names to curse every time you launched out of your windshield.

Well, 3 messes this all up. There are something near 15 characters, and some of them are so similar that you have no hope of remembering them. The character models are all very idealized, if you catch my drift, and there's one fully anonymous man wearing a motorcross helmet with practically full-balanced stats that you'll choose every time if you're sane. That's another thing, too - Unlike the original, where you were your own identity, you have to choose one of these punks.

Anyway, 2.5/10, because it technically functions, I guess. Go buy Next Car Game instead, it's made by the same company that made the other FlatOut games. Speaking of which, go buy the other FlatOut games, too, they're super cheap and also on Steam. It's a shame those two don't have online multiplayer anymore, because if they did, I'd force you to buy them at gunpoint.

I have a lot of memories with this game. It makes me emotional.

10/10
leafyishere is funy