Alright, as we all know u/Cummybot2000 has gone missing. We all miss Cummy very much, but where did they go?
I believe I have some answers, friends. This was the last post Cummy had ever commented on. As you can see it's a Pro-Trump pasta. I believe there's some sort of Anti-Trump conspiracy at work here. But there's more.
Roughly around the same time that u/Cummybot2000 disappeared the prodigal son himself, u/waterguy12, came back to Reddit. Coincidence? Perhaps. But let's look at the big picture here.
If you are unfamiliar with the legend of Waterguy12, look here. Notice that Cummy was absent in this thread as well. We're starting to see a pattern.
u/waterguy12 has something to do with the disappearance of u/cummybot2000. Something is very wrong here. I don't know what Waterguy12, and perhaps the other Guy12s, have done with our Cummy but I'm not going to just stand by and let them do it. I'm going to take the fight to them. Wish me luck, fellow Pastafarians..
sugar gets me kooky
This completes my life

I was wearing some regular underwear because all my boxers were dirty, also some loose thin pants because it was pretty warm out. Anyway im in class when the teacher asks me to come up to the board to read a part of the book, im a bit nervous because i dont like pubic speaking but whatever and i start reading it. I notice i have to read 2 ♥♥♥♥♥ pages of this ♥♥♥♥♥, i start ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up some words and i get a mini anxiety attack followed by an ever growing boner which looks bigger because underwear bunches up ur balls and ♥♥♥♥.
I think whatever bishes will just think my ♥♥♥♥ is huge so great success, the thing is i start looking at some of the hotter girls in class in their yoga pants with their legs crossed over, my boner gets bigger and its starting to become noticable. i hear some people in the class say something and smiling, at this point im nervous as ♥♥♥ and i can feel my face becoming red, i fumble with the words because all this compression in my underwear starts to feel good, at the same time its uncomfortable as ♥♥♥. I read some more and out of nowhere i say to the teacher "i cant do this anymore can i sit down?" she says no and tells me to finish, my knees start to weaken as i feel an orgasm starting to develop, i yell to the teacher "i have to go now!" the class starts laughing and a girl says "to put ur boner away" now the whole class is in tears laughing and tears of pain start to roll down my eyes but yet my penis is about to explode semen. I run to the door and try to open the doorknob but for some reason it doesnt open, i hear comments like "hes gone ♥♥♥♥♥ insane", i dont know wut comes over me but i accept my new role as crazy.
I rip open my pants and yell "this is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥ uncomfortable!" and whip my ♥♥♥♥ out, everybody gasps and yells omg, i start pulling on it and within seconds i start to explode, the teacher runs over and tries to stop me but i just end up jizzing on her, then on a couple people in the front row. everybody is screaming and security comes in and points a gun at me and tell me to get on the ground, i make a large ♥♥♥ stain on the floor where i am dragged away.