top ten yoda thoughts:

Phone Guy: I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?

Mark: WHY?!

Phone Guy: Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person.

Mark: Oh, OH!

Phone Guy: They'll p-they'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit.

Mark: Oh, I get it.

Phone Guy: Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices...

Mark: Uh-huh.

Top Ten Yoda Thoughts
10. I should make my own line of ear muffs.
9. Maybe I should get some platforms.
8. I wonder why TY didn't make a Beanie Babie out of me.
7. Miss Piggy, her voice is so familiar...
6. Why didn't I get a lightsaber? I can handle it!
5. I wish I was tall enough to get into R-rated movies.
4. Stupid Weird Al. I didn't get one cent from his parody of me!
3. I'm cuter than ET! Aren't I? Come on!
2. Dang Luke Skywalker. Takes all the credit just because he's younger.
1. That Posh Spice is one hot babe!

Top 10 Problems in Yoda's life
10. Next door neighbor's home is strong with the dark side
9. Only dating opportunities involve lizards and snakes
8. You find a kid, bring him into your home, feed him and all he does is whine!
7. The most companionship around is a transparent dead guy
6. being the last of your kind makes the high school reunions kind of boring
5. keep getting dropped by Jedi students who can't concentrate
4. that rotten little Artoo stole the flashlight back
3. his lightsaber is taller than him
2. Frank Oz has cold hands (its a muppet joke)
1. 900 years on this stinking planet and still no cable tv!

i ordered a lil pootis from the dark web

danictrademark jumpscare.. *jumpscares*