Recent reviews by Giggle Nipples

It really felt like getting to participate in the 4th Indiana Jones movie that we never got. Fans of Indiana Jones should get in here right away.

As I wandered around the amazingly detailed recreation of the Vatican, helping a nun with her out of reach book, taking photos of the Sistine Chapel, it dawned on me how much closer this is to an old point-and-click adventure than a straight up action game, and that is what sold the game for me. Because by and large this game is adventure first and action second, to the extent of being outright slow and methodical if you're digging for every puzzle and artifact. Sure you can beat the pants off swarms of Italian and German fascists with nothing but your fists, and I certainly enjoyed my fair share of that, but playing it sly and sneaky lead to the best moments where it really felt like being in one of my favorite movies. Stealing a uniform, blending in, and unlocking the secrets of ancient ruins while right under the nose of an entire Nazi excavation crew is quintessential Indiana Jones, and there's a /lot/ of that if you're willing to take it slow.

I was extremely unsure about the first person perspective, so much so that I was downright expecting the worst. Indiana Jones isn't someone I want to /be/, but he is a character whom I have very much enjoyed watching, so the third person perspective of other Indiana Jones games always made sense to me, especially when you consider the movement and exploration which is part and parcel to these stories.
It did feel somewhat awkward bouncing between first person and third person for the many cutscenes and interstitial bits. Ultimately, I was engrossed and mostly unbothered by it. At the very least, being up close and personal with the extremely detailed graphics feels like a fair enough justification.

It's not going to be for everyone, and it's not doing anything new as far as game design goes, but it accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well. If nothing else, you can turn the difficulty down to storymode and enjoy it like any of the three Indiana Jones movies. Can you imagine if they tried to make more of those movies today? With old man Indiana? Thank god none of the studios have gotten desperate enough to sign off on that.

P.S: Thank god for ID Tech and MachineGames' optimization work. The game run better than I could have ever hoped. It's not in the options menu, but you can even disable all the TAA/DLSS upscaling crap from the console and enjoy the beautifully detailed graphics without grease and ghosts being smeared across the screen. DLSS/DLAA was implemented fairly well here, but in my honest opinion that's a low bar. Upscaling is a crutch for cheap studios to lean on. It's relieving to know at least one game won't be permanently marred by its forced inclusion, even if you do need to poke behind the curtain to turn it off.

sux cox n dix

This is a review based solely on the campaign.

Gameplay-wise, it doesn't stack up to the first 2 games. In fact, talking purely mechanics, I would say this game is NOT worth playing, and honestly it stretched my patience.

The graphics are a mixed bag. UE3 is nearly 20 years old and was already dated when this game was released, but Spark still squeezed out some beautiful scenery and tasteful art design that holds up today. The Rig by itself is cool design and looks outright awesome when you see the lights outlining it through a snowstorm. Most graphical elements tend to look bad up close, but environment design is pretty and there are some really gorgeous views that help the forced slow-walks in the Rig at least feel immersive.
Native support for ultrawide monitors is present and there's a quick ini edit to unlock the framerate. Most appreciated engineering, Spark.

Outside of some out-and-out copping of the Alien theme (seriously, it's note for note), and some grating "horror" music for the shoehorned survival horror levels, the music is otherwise serviceable, if unremarkable. Getting a selectable trucker playlist in the Rig was a nice touch and added a lot of atmosphere.
Sound effects are mostly generic, but nothing to complain about. Directional audio had a habit of disappearing entirely, which made tracking enemies a pain.

Lastly, and most importantly for my playthrough, I found the story and characters surprisingly engaging. I was pretty quickly hitched up and engaged within the first hour, despite the opening sequence giving me some bad impressions. There's plenty of schlock, and a couple bad performances, but the acting from most characters really, truly stands out, including some of the impressively expressive facial animations during cutscenes both in-game and pre-rendered (download the hi-res cutscenes DLC btw, it's a massive improvement). Some story points were rushed, and things didn't flow terribly well at later in the game, but for every bad moment I experienced two or three good. It's no Shakespeare, but kept me guessing and genuinely enjoying myself through to the end, which I liked quite a bit. There's a lot of heart here.

5/10 , it has been on the back-burner for years and I'm glad I played it, but I won't be recommending it to anyone who isn't already on the fence.

It wasn't until the last 4 or 5 puzzles that my brain finally got onboard, and I think that's perfect. It was a beautiful and nearly overwhelming experience from start to finish, both visually and mechanically. Highly, highly recommended

The recruiter told me I'd see new, exciting places. Visit exotic locales. Meet great people. Build up the country I love.

♥♥♥♥ that. I want to carry 80lbs of gear across the desert for 4 hours and build HESCO walls for minimum pay.

So I bought Squad.

10/10. Everything I ever wanted