Recent reviews by Plartypus

It's like Skyrim with guns!

I was gonna write a lengthy review for this, but it's free now so there's no point. If you're trying it first time, there's nothing stopping you. If you got banned, you can probably make a new account and try again. That said, I'm gonna write one anyway.

CS: GO is probably as vanilla as it gets for active multiplayer shooters. There's no class system, no predetermined loadouts, no superpowers or unique gadgets. You have a budget, and you buy your guns/gear at the start of the round. Everyone can buy the same things (minus a couple guns, depending on your team) and the gameplay is just positioning and aiming. Depending on how well you do/how many kills you get, you get more money to spend on guns and grenades for the next round. The maps don't change much, the only destructible terrain are the windows and doors and they reset every round.

Overall, this game is very simple fun. If you like shooters, it's a good baseline for PC. It's really easy to get into competitively, or to play casually. The community has a lot of good and bad people in it, so you could find yourself stuck with a jerk for 16 rounds or you could be matched with someone with a good sense of humor. Now and then you might be matched with someone who clearly doesn't belong at the level of play you're at. You can either appreciate their skill or remain skeptical of their sportsmanship.

Whatever the case, it's a free game! You can take the L and leave, and nobody can stop you. You could try for the win anyway and either mute or ignore them. You could try and reason with them and see if they calm down. If they don't, you're free to be as toxic as you want, too! It's a free game!

On the off chance you *really* want to spend money on the game, you can buy cases and keys to roll for skins. If you just want a particular skin, you could buy it outright on the market. Purchases are optional.

Hentai Minesweeper is a game I got for 50 cents as a joke. It now contributes to my profile's "perfect games" stat in the achievements tab.

For the low-low price of $5 (five times the price of the base game), the DLC lets you take background images from a subreddit of your choice. It's not really "endless" because it only takes from the first page, but it's your money so I don't care.

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Dimitri would like this game.

I never played Prepare to Die Edition, but my friends tell me that it is a blessing that this game runs properly right out of the box. So far, there's some issues with the world loading in, but that only happens when I stream the game. I have an ok laptop that I didn't research the specs for, so take it with a grain of salt. Other than loading issues, I think this game is all positives for me.

The story is cool, and I enjoyed being exposed to the lore after each event in the game. The cutscenes are cool, and the concept is great. If you listen to the dialogue and/or read the subtitles, there is a very interesting world. This review is mostly about the gameplay, though, since that's what I've focused on.

Overall, the combat is pretty satisfying and there are many different ways to play. Different weapons swing in different angles at different speeds (which matters sometimes, since it can clang against walls in certain narrow hallway areas) and is usually a matter of personal preference. I started with the Halberd and only used the heavy attack, others use fast-swinging shortswords or just put all their points into faith and throw lightning bolts. I personally have never used magic/pyromancies yet, but I might try them out on a different run.

The pacing of the game is very good. My attention span is admittedly lacking for the most part, but the game has kept me engaged in the walks between bosses. Once you learn the areas and patterns, you can dramatically speed up the boring "walking simulator" portions by sprinting past the dudes you don't care about. I had a habit of clearing an area entirely on my first visit, but soon learned that some low-level enemies are worth skipping. Besides the distances, the game does a great job of forcing the player to explore areas and find secrets. Some areas have really cleverly hidden segments, most of which leading to optional loot, but there are also a lot of places that make you take "the long way around" and open shortcuts. These shortcuts make it much less tedious to revisit areas later in the game, especially when the story requires it.

The order of events is very interesting to me. Most games I've played have been relatively linear (with the exception being Metroidvania-types), but Dark Souls has very different pathing depending on the player. At the time of writing this review, I'm still in the midst of my first playthrough, and so far I have learned that I accidentally skipped a certain area (Blighttown) by taking a back entrance through another area. In addition, there were a couple points in the game where I had two or three options of boss fights that I could do before progressing, so I could take a break if I got frustrated on a particular fight. While certain parts of the world are still closed until you activate certain events, most of the fights can be played in the order you see them, rather than a predetermined path.

The boss fights are cool as hell. The first couple made me question stuff like "What makes Dark Souls so hard?" until I fought Bell Gargoyles. For veterans, Bell Gargoyles are easy, but as a first-time player it felt like a rite of passage into the Souls franchise. It took me double digits attempts, and I didn't necessarily get closer each time I tried it. Despite that, it still felt fair. I knew why I was getting my ass beat, so all my frustration was about something I had control over. Every boss is like this, where they have telegraphed attack patterns that you can learn in your first few attempts. If you get really good at timing your dodge-rolls or when to swing vs when to hold up your shield, none of the bosses are impossible to kill first-try (except for one, in which a helpful player left a message in-game labeled "Use Ring"). All bosses, however, can and will kill you first try. And that's okay! For me, I only killed one boss in the first attempt so far and that's because I remember watching my friend kill it on his stream and already knew the attack pattern.

Another thing I love about this game is the idea of sharing knowledge between players. This game doesn't have a ton of guidance, which is evident in that the tutorial doesn't even tell you that you're supposed to skip the Asylum Demon at first by going to the left. There is an online-item you can get ingame that's sole purpose is to leave a message that other people can read. I referenced this earlier with the "Use Ring" example, and most of them are either warnings (such as "Beware of ambush" or "Be wary of up") or secrets (such as "Illusory wall ahead," "Try swinging," or my personal favorite, "Gorgeous view ahead") that reveal hidden areas or items. These messages are particularly helpful if you get stuck on an area/can't find where to go next. There's also another online item that lets people summon allies based on other players. These are OPTIONAL supports that can help clear an area or beat a boss. I recommend trying to beat bosses solo first. There's a certain enjoyment that comes from discovering things yourself, but everyone knows that Dark Souls is a hard game and nobody will ♥♥♥♥ on you for getting help. Going through the game blind is fun/satisfying for those that want to, but it's also a matter of personal preference. If you are super invested in the story, then ignore this entire paragraph and do your first run blind. There are some very interesting side stories that I am grateful were not spoiled for me.

I've put about a day and a half of total playtime into this game over the past couple weeks, and I'm barely 2/3 the way in my first playthrough. This game has hours and hours of content, interesting boss fights, simple and satisfying combat with at least 3 playstyle options and dozens of viable weapon options, and can be made easier or harder depending on the path you choose. If you don't believe me, try watching a speedrun or a challenge run.

TL;DR
The game has simple fun combat, varying weapon/playstyle options, challenging but fair boss fights that aren't repetitive, rewarding exploration and a good story if you want one. There are also optional online items that can help struggling players.

10/10 for me.

It's Atari Breakout gameplay with some RPG elements, themes, and upgrades. If that is what you want, then buy it. This game is exactly what to expect, and is at a reasonable price for what it gives you. It's a fun take on the mechanic, and if you're looking to kill time with something relatively chill, it'll kill some hours with ease. It's only $3, so it's worth it.

My computer is too new to run it, and that’s disappointing. I loved this game when I had my dinosaur, and I remember when taking the Vietnam DLC wizard into the campaign made me laugh the whole way as I gunned down fantasy monsters. Even without cheating, the gameplay was fun and the spell combos were satisfying to pull off. The humor and old memes that this game is saturated with are still funny (to me) and this game holds a special place in my heart.

But alas, I cannot recommend anyone with good specs buy this game. Go buy Magicka 2 or HELLDIVERS instead.

-Fun arcade-style wave survival
-Pretty colors and sprites
-Cool upgrades and power-ups
-Last human on a mission to avenge the entire human race is an undeniably BADASS concept

Simple, but satisfying take on the genre. One of the first games I play when the wifi is down.
10/10

This game is the Nuclear Throne of rogue-likes.

Let’s get this bread.