WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS OMNI MAN?! OUGUGHHHHH

Oh my god a your voice is so hot man I'm like your biggest fan now, i'd love to play more games with you!! An damn got me here bussin lmao... haha you looking mighty scrumptious in the pfp such a big strong man you are. lemme say~ if 1+1=2 and that two is us playing I4d2 anytime my man. If you need me to make you a PB&J i gotcha boo XD ill make you the thiccuss sandwich. anything for a hottie like you hun ;)) ight bye baby gurrll

Hey everyone. I (20M, gay) have a good friend (21F) who has a very cute body with a fluffy ass, and I think she's like very pretty too. She came out to me few days ago that she's into me and asked me if I'm down to have sex with her. I didn't want to accept at first because I'm gay but she's been a good friend of mine so I didn't reject her. So we cooked some dinner tonight and got naked, kissed a bit and she started sucking my ♥♥♥♥. I didn't want to have straight sex because I'm gay so I just pulled out my phone and put on a good gay porn while ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ her, practically using her as a sex toy. It felt really good and we both enjoyed it. Am I straight for this?

Hey it's me, we just played together. I noticed you didn't add me but I sent you a friend request haha, maybe it glitched or something you're pretty cool though like I said before, that's why I got my team to throw for you. It's so cool to see a girl playing in games though. I know you have a boyfriend so I hope he treats you well. Like if I was your boyfriend I'd make you sandwiches while you play and buy you chocolate and give you back rubs and call you cool and laugh with you at all your jokes, not real though because we aren't together (at least yet) ;) Yeah so haha you should totally accept my friend request so we can talk more and have fun together, just as friends of course coz otherwise it would be weird and I don't want to get cooties from you ewwwww (just joking, I would like your cooties) :p

Listen b*tch you want to call me a neckbeard? Am i a neckbeard because i enjoy art? Because I can appreciate the value of an expertly crafted story, amazing gameplay, and beautiful gameworld? Because i have experienced more than any normal human. I have saved the princess. I have defended earth from Reapers. I have traversed time, space, dimensions. I am the Dragonborn. I am the Witcher. I am the Lone wanderer. I have challenged the elite four...and won. Does a neckbeard finish Dark Souls in one weekend without dying...oh on my first try btw. And that was after making a speech on a transcendental consciousness to a COLLEGE CLASS. I have solved impossible math equations BY ACCIDENT. I read philosophy books for FUN. Am I making myself clear sweetie? Or are you a neuronormative goon who thinks "football" is the pinnacle of human creation? You probably couldnt even jump on a goomba.... My ancestors are smiling at me, fool...Can you say the same?

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your profile gave me cancer anyway.