I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

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I’m Caucasian.
No one knows what that means.
I say it, and they just stare—blank, like I made it up.
You think I chose this life?

I came from the distant, wind-beaten isles of the Caucasus, man.

Not only that but I am part asian ok?

you are not black, you wish you could be me... but you aint me... so stop trying to spin a false narrative. at most, you are a thermonuclear explosive device. and at your lowest, you are a gooner... a goontoober even... despicable

that's exactly what a white person would say...

no I AM BLACK