Recent reviews by Church of Roxy Migurdia

I love myself a good slice of life dating sim starring cute girls doing c͎̳ut̸͓̼̤ͅe̳̰͎̰̗̝͘ ͞t̟̠̺h̬͉͘ͅi̺͖͖͠ng̮͎̖̲̰̝̳͟s͓͖̼̟͜ ̡̻̲͇̰̙̦̙̀́͞͡͞ó̵̸̶̙̪̬̬̩̭͎͜ͅh̸͕̰͍̭̞̣̟͕̩̮͟͠ͅ ̷̛̣͙̥̤̙̝̬̜͓̭̠̺̠͟͝ͅm̢̡̞͎̖̜̬̖̲͈̫̬͖̱̩̭̳̙̣͡ͅͅy̧̛̠̤͎̩͚̙̳͚ ̢̙͉͙̳̗̱̣͖̹̗͙͇̺̩ͅg̵̡̡͚̠̞̻̯͔̟͍̙͇͈̜ó̴̟̘̱͎͎̦͓̲̦͇̟̙̤̩d̡̮̰͉̗͓̲̼͙̟͈̟̬̰̜̀͠ͅ ̢̩͎̖͚̟̭̹͇͖̟̹̞͙͙̝̕͘͝w̡̪͓̖̩͚̞̱̜̩̥͚̳͇̲̖͎͎͜͞h͙͙͓̬̦̰͓̘̥̻̪̩̹͇͞ͅy̶̛͞͠͏̖͔̩̯̞͖ ̪͎̙͎̀͘͟͠͞w͏̷̬̹̠̖̫̲͓̟͞͞ǫ̵̸̶̯̝̜̤͍̟̘͖̝̻̱̼u҉̶̜̮͙͚̮͙͓͇̼͕͕̦͕͢l̴̴̛͉̝͔̱̳͇͠d͚̘͉̹̯̲̜̜͇̜̫͞͡ ̴̧̘̠͔̙͔͞s̷̻͇͚̱̩̕͡͠h̴̹̙͚̜͙̙͔̰̞̩͖̬̪̭̲̬̹̪͡e̢̨̳̜̻͎ͅ ̵̨̧͓͉̝͚̠͙ͅd̵͈͎͙̝̱͎͕͖̯̻̻͔̱͓͍͞ò̷̢̺̳̞̘̰͎̳̩̪̥̳͎͞ͅ ̵̢̧̲̜͖̗̣͖͎̺̀͢t̶̶͓̮̪͙̭̻̲͘h̷̜̤͕͓͉͉̹̫̠̖̬̘̦͘̕͟ͅͅá̧̩͇̳͓͢͞t́͘҉̟̲͔̘̭͚̼̤̲̦̝̻͖͜ ̛̦̗͈͎́͜I̷̶̩͇͙̯̥̳̮̰͈͓͎̹̻͎͉͘͟ ͕̙͍̦̩̬͎̼̳̼͎̼͘̕w̛͖̗̥̭̝̺͢i̴̧̧̢̙͙̙̪̘̻̱̭̘̮̖͓͕̼͇̝̙͖͢ͅl͎̩̖̼̼̲̪̩̤̗͜͝ͅl҉̸͔͎̪̜̺̫ ̮͖̺̲̬̬͖̩̹͠ņ̨̢͏̙̮̼͎̯̪͖͖̠͙͕͇ͅe̬͎̮̬̤̣̘̙̕͠v̴̡̢̬͔̹̜͚͙͞͞e̴̝̞̬̩͉̥̱͖̤̬̭̪̙͟ͅr҉͓̣̪̗̭̙͉͈͚͓͇̻̘̻̲͝ ̴̴̨͖̙͔̳̰͓͔s̵̘͎͎̟̙̪͉̱̝̞̪̬̬̮̯̀ͅĺ͈̝̲̦̣͈̼̼͎̦̲̙̕͘͜͡e̴̞͎̭͓͖͙͢e̵̢̨̗͈̹̳̖p͇̩̲̦͓͖̜̫͕̱̫͉̖̦͕͟͡ ̶̘̥̥̳̤͢͠͡ą̷̛̛̳̫̩͍͔̺͚́g̷̩͚̞̟͚͍̣̱͓̫̻̹̣͘ͅa̸̢̨̞̮͉̘̙͙͍͔͉̟̞͉̥͎͕̖̰ͅì͝҉̗̺͙̻̙̪̲͟ͅn͡҉҉̫̣͎̻̻̞̝͓̮ ̧̢̗͇̤͇̩̦̩̣̹b҉̨̻̱̣͔̙̺͍̖͍̥̠̥̝̟̤̪̀͠ę͚̫̪̮̭͎́c̶̢̞̰͕͔̤̤̙͕͖͖̯̜a̧̛̳͖̩̩̝̬͖̝͙̗͚̬̙͈͜ư̵̰͔̭̬̣͜͢ͅs̨͕̺̞͍̟̹̝͇̬̬̭̫͉̹̩ͅe̷̶̱̼̼̗̳̠͕̖̣͟͢͞ ̸̧͚̯̯̳̦̻̝̗̮͢͡è̵̥̱̲̞̮̥͜͠͠ͅv̴̴̶̛͎̻͍̯͜e̷͙͎̘̩̤͍̖͔̘͉̣̯̳̣̝͖̯̻r̴̵̷̨͉͙͇͇͎̣̗̺̰͈ͅy͡͏̺͕̼̗̹̲͓͍̟́͜ ̡͏̛̺̠̪͉̜̘͖͔̖̬͇̭̲̥̝͕͢ͅt̥̮̬̮̻̝̲͚̮̯̳͈̺̘̝͘͢͠ͅi͏̴̞̜̻̰̳̦̲͎̣͈̤̖̦̤̲͜ͅm̶͘͢͠͏̠̼̻͙̟̜̦͚̯͙͔̱̖̖̗̱ȩ̴̧̗͕̣͈̩̞͇ ̷̷̡̫̼̥̳͔̠̰̩͍͓̯̠̱̥̗̦̘͕͘͜ͅḬ̸̮̦̺̤͔̺̗͍̫̟̪̝̼͎̱̣͞ ̷̨̠̭͕̬̪̰̱̜̘̞̘̣̟͓͎̕͠͝c̢̼͍̟͚͍̗̩͈̬͈̕͜͡͡l̶̖̠͔̻̪̬͔̺̻̙͔͚͘͜ǫ͈̟͔̭̞̞̗̝̟̬̤͓͍̙́̕s̡̞̼̠͖̙̩̙͓͙̀̕e̛̘̟̮͎̟͚̤̱͇̳̮̙͙͈͘͢͡͠ ̵̨͉̲͎̠̦͍̯̹̞͓͉m̶̵̡̫̣͍̭̗̹̠̀̕y̷̸̜͕̗̪̹̰̯̝̖͎̬̮͢͠ ̸̷̸̢̤̬̙̲̠̺͖̥̺͚̳̙̹̦͟é̴̯̫͕͍͔̫̼̀͝ý̴̨̧̬̟̳͢ͅé̡̧͏͎̹̫͉͖̜̣͖̜̥͈͓̙͉͍͇̜̣͝ṣ̡̨͚̺̭͙͓̬͟͜ ̜̤͕̘̙͇̬̻̘͇̩̪̼͘͡ͅÌ̡̲͖̺̣̲̟̦̪̩͡ ̸̧͍͈̘̟͇̻̹̠̞͙̥̻̺̘̜͈̳ͅa͟҉̠̟̼̹̫̠̭̤̯̺̪̭̫̻ͅḿ̷̖̫̞̹̙̥̠̕͟͡ ̠̬̹̗̣̳̮̝̭̯̯̻̗̹̖̱̖͙̀͟͡͡g̸̨̭̰͉̦̮̳̲̤͚̬̦͔̠̟̘̦̠̯̕͘o̷̢̭̠̝͇̲̟̪̪̤͖͇̳͎̱̘͍͎̬̹͠͠į̛̭̗͇͙͚͇́͟͡ǹ̰̲̖̟͇̳̭̪͍̦̪͚̰̙͍͘͠g̶̡͎͇͉̝̙̞͙͓̥̼̝͎̝͔̫͕̖͔͍ ̵҉̷̭̙̺̮̥̞͖̞t̲̞̻̜͖̹͓̣͍͔͕͍͎̯͓͔̮̕͝ò̵͖̤̬̦̺͍̗͟͢ ̨̱̥͎̩͙̬͙͟ś̶̢͙̹̼̹͓͍̪͓͡ȩ͍͉̱̥̺̖́͘̕e̸̢̛̻̱̬̭̞̝͈̤̭̻̖̱̠͢͝ͅ ̨̫̞̟̬͈̞̠̘͙̭̗̪̗̫̕H҉̨̧̰͙̭͉̟̖̹͚͟E̼͖̜̹̞̱͖̟͎̻͎̠̤̦̝̭̘͝͞ͅR̵̟͈̩̟͙͕̗̣̣̤̻̦͎̬̞͙͍̤ ̷̧͓̖̱͔̹ͅi҉̡̜̬͙̮̹͔̮͇̝n̡̛͉̬͔̪̰̣͉͈͕͕̟̦̤̣̪̣͠ ̵̱̺̖̹͎̯͟ͅm͍̯̫͙̣͓̜̹͖̹̣̟͎̯͘͞ͅy͏̨̨̛̖̼̖̼͈͉͍̘̳̞͈͍͖ͅ ̴͏̻͍̤̮̜̬̤͚̠͉͜d̻̯̹̲̠̥̺͕̟̲̮̦̤̤̲͙̩̀͘͞͡͝r̶̴̶̨̡͍̜̳͚̘̻̭̬̲͔͚̜ͅe̸͓̟̬͎̬͎̜̘͖̹̳͙͢͞à̸̷̱̝͎̹̩͍̰͔̮̙̼͖̮͟ͅm̸̡̞̖̦̜̞͚ͅs̨̪̠̬̖̘̣̯̺͢͜͢ ̳̝̲͍̭̤̼̗̤̲̤̻̝͉͘͞p͏̨̤̻̗̙̪̝̱͖̘͍̼́͢͜l̷̶̤̠̥ͅé̢̻͎͎̮̖̺̳̺͔͕̱̥̳͖̙́͢a̢͠҉̣̹̻̭̻̞̭̪̣̥̞̲́͜ͅs̢͕̱̬͙̠͎̖̫̤͎̟̬̻̖̳̀̕͘͠e̴̡̛̫̺̣͍̝̤̺͇̻̗̩͙̘͖͇̯̝͠ ̸̧͙̝̼̲̱͘͠͝e͡͏̴̡̲͚̥̺͙̤̜͍̜̹̤͎͓͍̬̺͖ͅͅn̢҉̸̷͖̩̪͕͕̜͍̲͈̩̮͉̟͇̠͈͡d̨҉̜̻͔̰͈̳̼͖̖ͅ ͏͏̸̠̖͔̣̟̟̙͖͚̯m̢̹̥̟̱͓̩͠y͢҉͉̘͍͇̲̟̘͖͙̲͔͖̭̣͉̩̕͝ ̸҉̞̣͎̞̹̫͖͓͖̗̞̞̤̜̻̕s̮̼̱̘̭̗̹̼̩̹͡u̶͎̹͔̤̺͍̤̙̜̕͜͢f̷̰̝̳̰̫͔͍f̴̷̧̨̢̗̤̟͇̱̯̖̦e͉̙̤̝͚͍̹͎̜͘͘͝r̸̶͓̻̥̝i͏̷̹̥̬̥̦̼͇̹̯̮̹̤͎̪͓̻͕̯̕͢͠ṋ̛̼̤̲̥̫̰̝̻̫̱̪̮̜̗̜ͅg̶̣̭̹̜̬̩͢͠͝





It's ok. It's gonna be ok... right?

Having played the first Dark Souls game on a ridiculously underspecced laptop with a framerate so low that I couldn't even play online at all, I bet on FROM doing a better job this time and preordered the game; when it came out I was very vocal about how much I liked it the game, and it was indeed better optimized: I actually got reasonable framerates in almost all locations. I even argued with some of my friends, who felt like the graphics downgrade (see e.g. the following youtube video) was a dealbreaker.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykbT03r_9Zo

However, the game, while enjoyable, still had flaws, the most glaring of which was, in my opinion, the ridiculous idea of mapping weak and strong attacks to single-clicking / double-clicking left and right mouse buttons, as well as not providing in-game support for Mouse4 and Mouse5 buttons. The former issue caused noticeable attack delay for M+KB users, unless you were ok with remapping your mouse controls with external tools. Just changing the mouse binding of strong attacks to something else did not fix the issue, as the game would still check whether each click was a single or a double click (by waiting a given amount of time, thus the delay) and simply do nothing, instead of weak attacking, if a double click was recognized. This was later fixed by providing users the option to disable double click input altogether (although it is necessary to enable and disable it again every time when launching the game to make it start working).

Then FROM lied. Souls died. This is what they said:

“For Dark Souls 2, we don’t even expect any additional downloadable content because we want to deliver a full game, the full experience, to fans who purchase the package from day one. We did do additional content for Dark Souls, but generally downloadable content for Dark Souls II is not really being considered. Buy the package and you’ll get the full experience, and you’ll have as much fun as anybody else. Spending a couple dollars on certain items does not help the experience. So no free-to-play yet!”

(source: http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/12/20/dark-souls-2-dlc-is-not-really-being-considered )

Then they announced not just one, but three DLCs. The community had gotten fooled. I refused to buy the season pass on principle. I loved this game, but I just would not.

Then we got fooled again. Scamco released a standalone "DX11 version of the game", like it's a brand new "next gen" thing. Like DX11 wasn't here when DS2 first came out last year. Like we're cows that are supposed to be milked for cash. They are basically asking us for more money to give us the game we were shown in the beginning, before they gimped PC graphics (and gameplay) to enforce parity with the PS3 and XBox 360 versions.

No, thanks.

And I am supposed to pay 25€ to upgrade. In my case it *might* be worth it because I don't have the DLCs, but I still won't, because I would be supporting anti-consumer policies.

The game is really good, but we consumers should not support such ♥♥♥♥♥♥ business practices.

I basically blacklisted FROM and Scamco and will never buy one of their games anymore, unless the gamer community gets a serious apology from them, that is. Not like it's ever going to happen.