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"Who’s joe?" a distant voice asks.

Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location.

The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar.

”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered.

The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear.

"I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.

Big Chillinger

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up.

Yeah I just pinged you.
you gonna cry? gonna go whine to the police? did the Comment Notification hurt? are you gonna sit there at night before bed just thinking about how much the notif upset you? gonna create an incredible life with a beautiful wife and wonderful children just to cover up the fact that you've been so angry at this one comment notif on a steam profile that has it's comments section set as public because you didn't make it private ? gonna regret not suppressing comments in settings every single day, wishing you had just put the slightest effort to not get pinged? gonna become slowly more and more toxic every single day of your life towards the people you're supposed to love but feel nothing towards? gonna go through years of lying to your therapist and pretending your issues are related to your life when in reality they're just related to that one comment notif you received on your steam profile ? yeah.

I used to roll half a bottle of laxative pills into a Crunch wrap supreme and then leave cow pies on peoples door mats. People in my town installed porch cameras to catch the "Phantom S hitter" they said it couldn't possibly be one man, the hits were too frequent and too large. It had to be a whole gang of city punks coordinating and making planned precision strikes. I felt like a god among lesser beings in my town. Every time i was at the local diner and i overheard someone screaming about the black slop they found on their porch i felt powerful and unstoppable. I became too arrogant, started striking during the day. That's when they caught me and strung me up in the streets and hit me with rocks. I barely escaped with my life and i had to leave town. Now after all these years, I'm in a new town and I behave well enough. But I've got this nagging feeling, the urge is back, and I'm starting to think that my new town is about to experience a storm