'Our father who art in prison,
Mother who knows not his name.
Thy chavdom come, thy shoplifting be done,
in JJB sports as it is in Poundland.
Give us this day our welfare bread,
and forgive us of our ASBO's,
As we happy slap those who give evidence against us.
And lead us not into employment,
but deliver us free housing.
For thine is the chavdon, the burberry and the blackberry,
forever and ever,


Innit.'