Recent reviews by Bigly Smalls

retrofuturistic L4D2 clone. it's bare bones right now, but it's pretty fun.

^this was my positive review for 2 years, because i thought they'd make it into a game. i liked the idea of it, but i actually thought it'd eventually become something worthwhile.

your team gives early access a bad name.

great game to play with a friend. probably even better with a boyfriend or girlfriend. some stuff's corny, but i liked most of it. having to sign up and use Origin is a pain, and nobody likes using it, but the fact they let you play this game with 2 people and only 1 copy makes up for that. good on them.

i need to play more of this, but so far it seems exactly what you'd imagine, but better. gameplay is really nice, the pixel graphics look great. i'm just glad they didn't botch all of that like they did with SOR4. the music's nice too. they got Mike Patton of Faith No More to sing the intro theme, and Raekwon and Ghostfast Killah of Wu Tang do a little rap. wasn't expecting that, but alright, i'll take it. nicely done.

this game rocks

poorly optimized and bad performance, especially around other players. buggy menus and alt-tabbing issues messing up my screen. all the top servers say full or wait in the queue. no problem, i'll just find another... they all have a wait queue, or there's so many people in that queue that you can't even join TO wait.

so i pull out my phone and use a stop watch to see how long it takes to wait to join a game. 4 players ahead of me, 3, 2, 1... "you are next", and at around 7 minutes in the message changes to: "THE SERVER QUEUE IS FULL. PLEASE JOIN ANOTHER OR TRY THIS ONE A BIT LATER."

demotivated, i'm determined to at least try this game out in a few lobbies, since it's a free weekend. i get in, eventually, and my FPS cuts in half or even 1/3 (sub-30 fps - and that's after finding a way to increase my fps by altering the launch options), the more players are around me. i get killed like an idiot a couple times then leave.

i'm biased. i don't really like these kinds of games. but if you do, and you think you'll like this - just be prepared to have a card much better than a RTX 3060 if you want to actually play it adequately, because it's poorly coded and/or optimized and the visuals aren't really impressive at all. you don't value your time if you're okay with these wait times. maybe play another game on another monitor while you wait. you know, a good game.

WARNING: you "can't" get a refund on this, because it has "consumables". neither the game or steam warns you of this before or after you buy it, until you ask for a refund. but i managed to get a refund by contacting steam support.

i had to get a refund after playing the tutorial for only a few minutes. feels janky and has the worst controls for a first-person game i've ever played that was made in the 21st century. they want you to do wacky things like scroll the mouse wheel down + left click at the same time. my hands are too big. i can't do that comfortably. it's like it's trying to be a fighting game, but for people who play shooting games? and they want you to do all your attack types with mouse buttons. i don't even want to know what kinds of maneuvers this game would want me to do if i didn't already have extra mouse buttons on the side.

"hold mouse wheel sideways while also holding left-click, tapping right-click in a 3/4 waltz rhythm, and moving the camera in a pattern of a snowman"

let me start off by saying that if this game feels similar to any real world person or event, then hypothetically, i believe that person did nothing wrong and everyone who claims otherwise has not done their research and believes everything their tv tells them. however, that won't reflect my opinion on whether this game is good or not.

this game does a job of making you feel trapped when a bunch of braindead ideologues gang up on you and try to beat you down. i'm sure that's by design. perhaps if they weren't the ones chasing YOU and trying to murder YOU, they'd still be alive today.

the animation would be passable for a Newgrounds game from 20 years ago. this game seems somewhere in between a tsop-tihs and an actual game. low effort when it comes to level design. it's just the same level over and over again with a few of the generic scenery copy-and-pasted slightly different on each level.

there's more or less no story, no cut scenes (or even static images) in between levels. maybe there is at the end, but i haven't gotten that far yet. as far as enemies, there's communists, "Anti-Bad Guy Squad", blue-haired braindeads who will try to beat you up with a skateboard, throw molotovs, jump kick you or try to steal your weapon - and yet none of them are worse monsters than "Jojo", who i don't think is in the game for you to shoot, sadly.

a classic format similar to Robotron 2084, Smash TV or Zombies Ate My Neighbors - or if you're not an old person: The Binding of Isaac. except it's not as polished or as fun as any of those games. the worst part about this game is it's unbalanced and very repetitive. it's still kinda fun to play for a jank flash game. it'd be better if this was free and in-browser. maybe have some mini-games in between levels, or a shop to buy upgrades. there's very little game here.

the game is a cakewalk, most of the time, and the health meter seems near pointless. what you really have to watch out for is the obese braindead which are bosses that kill you with one hit and have a long reach. i do everything right and barely take any damage, but then a zombie nudges me slightly and it's just enough for the OP obese braindead bosses to kill you with one hit. i can handle difficult games, if they're balanced and consistent. for most of the game it's boring because it's too easy, then you get lots of cheap deaths and no continues.

if the bosses just did massive damage instead of 1HK or had less reach, it'd be more fun. but perhaps the worst part about this game is the bosses are bullet sponges. you're running around in circles shooting them and it takes forever, even if you use explosive barrels and grenades. later on you get more powerful guns and it's a bit easier, but it's still a drudge to play. cheap deaths and filler. nerf the fatty.

i grabbed this on sale and figured i'd try it. sounds fun. it couldn't be as bad as the reviews say... no, it definitely is. this should not be on steam. the voice acting is robotic, creepy and weird. they never talk about the question or answer, just OF it. the characters constantly interrupt each other, even themselves, and when that happens the voices overlap. i think the most sentences i had overlapping was 4 at a time... and there's only 2 people talking.

i can't set my native resolution (2K) but i can do 4K... okay, fine 1080p it is. even when you set it to english - sorry, american - the video options menu is in french. i just don't see how no one caught that. clearly this game wasn't originally meant to be in english. either way, it seems like a simple fix. ALL of these glaring problems that everyone has pointed out could easily be fixed. but they're not doing that. instead, they put it on sale so suckers will buy it.

well i'm getting a refund. if you don't care about money and want to play a game show that feels like it was directed by tommy wiseau & alan resnick for adult swim at 2am - it's pretty damn hilarious at times.

the art style is amazing. the music's pretty good, but the "reactive music" is false advertising.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnDfbPZerQs
when you kill enemies it'll make cymbal crashes, but that trailer is purposely edited it to mislead you into thinking it's more reactive than it really is. it's a good idea, but it's not executed very well. maybe if they make a sequel they can flesh that our so it feels more dynamic and not just glorified sound effects.

the difficulty is fun for a while. you can only run grab and push-attack. you start thinking of clever ways to fight, like grabbing an enemy so they shoot one of their own. but once the exploding guys are introduced, you start getting cheap deaths. especially since enemy placement seems to be RNG. so there's no patterns to look out for - throw that out the window. just react and mindlessly mash the push-attack. it's superior to grabbing, because it doesn't leave you vulnerable, you can push away bombers and even if you don't kill them you can stun lock them.

once you do this you'll soon notice you die 1/10th as often and the game just got a whole lot easier. that's a big let down. level 2 is even better than level 1. level 3 is where it falls apart. even more cheap enemies. it can be a cakewalk or unavoidable death - all depends on your luck. the end of level 3 has bombs that can start detonating off screen, so you're moving and instant-killed for something you had no warning or control over. really cheap and not fun.

i managed to beat the third album and unlock the last one. but i don't know if i'll play it any more. really cheap deaths that can't be memorized through patterns. the game actively rewards you for playing like a reatard. i got it on sale for $5 but that should be the asking price. art style's cool. the reactive music is a good idea that hopefully they actually pull off in a sequel, but i don't recommend this.