"Who’s joe?" a distant voice asks.

Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location.

The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar.

”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered.

The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear.

"I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from ♥♥♥♥ I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.

One death for your birthday present. Happy birthday.

sugma

hi r u dead

i said no