MAR. 28, 2010 - A collage of newspaper clippings demanding ransom for the team's MIA medic was found on the spawn point early Sunday morning. "It was, like, whoa! What the freak is this?" said the team's resident Scout, who first came upon the note. "I dunno who this 'Homework' guy is, but he's gonna get a real beatin' when I find him." Second-to-arrive Pyro, when asked his thoughts, passionately exclaimed, hands gesticulating wildly, "Mmfmmfffmm, mmm ffmmmfm mf mfmfmm! Mff mf!" Heavy could only be restrained from rampaging by the comfort of Dalokohs Bars.

"It's a sad, sad day when ya can't go out for a nice long walk with the cows 'n come back without some tramp makin' off with ya lady," Engineer offered his two-cents with a sad shake of his head. Sniper appeared to disagree. "It's like what I always say, mate, someone will always want someone dea--err, someone else's medic, them wankers."

The team is offering a reward for anyone who may have more information about these kidnappers, or the return of their medic, no questions asked.