this tellmeninetales guy stinks bro get an original copypasta amirite

you have been visited by claude bendigo, post this to 5 other profiles or he'll come to your house, steal your money, then give you back slightly more money later, then knock at your door and ask for the change

you have been visited by claude bendigo, post this to 5 other profiles or he'll come to your house, steal your money, then give you back slightly more money later, then knock at your door and ask for the change

Simoon's Dong

Simoon's Dong

Darling no baka!

How many gays have we exterminated...

my precious spy helping me infiltrate and kill the gays

"Please God, I want to impregnate Kim Yo Jong so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant asian angel. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins.

Kim Yo Jong is beyond divine. I can’t help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure. I yearn for her in a way both primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in United States history just to lick the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union.

I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich juche milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging erection. I would stir her velvety Korean cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just to be near her for a brief moment.

She’s so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her crisp general suit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole..."
"...I want to ♥♥♥♥ her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or ♥♥♥♥ rings. Whichever would please her more.

God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don’t know what I’d do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.

My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the Doritos dust from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be.

I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, nothing I wouldn’t say. I would beat my own mother to death with my engorged penis if it would bring a smile to Kim Yo Jong's shining face. I wouldn’t even let myself ♥♥♥ until she gave me permission...."
"...I love you, Kim Yo Jong. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my lover, my Juche mommy, my everything. Say yes. I see it in your eyes, when you’re up there on that throne talking about nuking Japan or whatever. Answer my calls, respond to my letters. Something. Give me a sign, Kim Yo Jong. I’m waiting for you.

I’ll always be waiting for you."

❤

My girlfriend left me and she took the dog that ♥♥♥♥♥ slept with 50 different men I am a broken man but not because she left me it's because she took the dawggg that dawg was the best friend i ever had

Don't be sad :( I am betty tough love ur mean friend but I still wuv you

‼️‼️HOLY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ANIME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎👊👊👊 ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA 😩😩😩😩😩😩MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAA 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Oh you’re approaching me❓❓❓❓❓❓❓But it was me, Dio‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂

It's COCKtober 🍆🎃 u know what that means 👀👅 ♥♥♥♥ sucking awareness month 😯🙆🏼👅 send this to 12 of ur closet hoes 👭😈 that love that ♥♥♥♥ 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 THOT-O-WEEN 🎃is upon us !! If you get this message ✉️ you are queen👸🏿 of the thots!!! Forward this to 7⃣ of the 🍆ThOtTiEsT🍆 thots 💁🏿 that you know will get some 👉🏿👌🏿 soon !!! If you don't, be prepared 🙍🏿 for 6⃣9⃣ days of bad luck ⚠️ 🍀

+rep took me out to dinner the other night at Olive Garden. I didn't even have a chance to reach for the check! Afterwards we went to see Marvel's "Ant-Man". The plot was great and the action scenes seemed really well developed. There was a little making-out between us (I won't go into details LOL), and it was overall a great viewing experience. I'm so glad Ant-Man beat that bad guy! He drove me home afterwards and walked me to my door like a real gentleman. I invited him inside for a glass of wine (and maybe something else if you get what I mean LOL), but he had to work early the next day so he politely declined. I hope he asks me out again because I enjoyed myself very much and was glad I finely found a man with a less than average endoyment (if you know what I mean LOL). Some men of ethnic racial statuses intimidate me a little more than normal individuals when I'm just trying to blow some shaft. Anyway, great night!

Happy🙌 SPANKSgiving💦👅 you turkey🦃 ass hoe😂😍 I am thankful👌🙏 for that ass😛🍑 just like the pilgrims🎩 and the Indians🏕 you will😋 gobble🦃 gobble👅 gobble👄 on that ♥♥♥♥😩🍆 ONLY😤 if you send📬 this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your BADDEST HOEkies🦃💦😎 if you get 0️⃣ back you an ugly😂 btch😐 if you get 5️⃣ back you a bad🙅 thot💅 if you get 🔟 back you a thankful🙌 ass🍑 btch😂👅💘‼ If you don't😳 send📩 this to 🔟 HOES👯 you won't❌ get ANY0️⃣ ♥♥♥♥ for DICKember⛄❄ and Santa🎅🏼 will be giving you COAL🌑⛏ instead of HEAD😋💦

you heard incorrectly razi f t w at 7:40pm on the 7th of may

The guy in your profile picture looks gay, I kill gays.

I heard you like ovaries

💩👎💩👎💩👎💩👎💩👎 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥👎 thats ❌ a ♥♥♥♥👎👎post right👎👎there👎👎👎 right❌there ❌❌if i do ƽaү so my self 🚫 i say so 🚫 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ🚫 👎👎 👎НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👎 👎👎 👎 🚫 👎 💩 💩 💩 👎👎♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Nipples