Hello, hello! How are you guys doing tonight? Everybody having a good time so far?

Yeah, I’m in kind of a weird mood myself. I was on my way down here, I stopped at a convenience store. I’m waiting in line to pay and the guy in front of me puts down a dozen donuts, two big bags of Doritos, one of those cheap-o one-gallon bottles of the generic brand fruit punch and a nasty rotting banana. He turns to the clerk and says to him “my girlfriend just had an operation; she can only eat certain things.” I look at him and I go “yeah right, what did she have a bong hit transplant?”