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While you’re crying over getting third-party’d, I’m speed-rezzing a baby with one hand and dropping 20 kills with the other. I’ve burped a child mid-Gulag and hit a no-scope while warming formula. Sleep-deprived? Sure. Washed? Never.
I don’t rage-quit, I change diapers between rounds.
While you were grinding ranked, I was grinding 3 a.m. bottle feeds and unlocking the Legendary Patience perk. They call me BabyBoss420.
I don’t just carry my squad, I carry an 8-pound human in a wrap and still solo the lobby.
Catch me napping? Never. Catch me clapping? Always.
Welcome to Dad Mode. Controller’s in one hand. Destiny’s in the other."