Some times I wanna ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ die and I delve in these non sensical delusions to make the hurt go away for a few minutes. It helps. Not in the long term but it helps. Nothing will ever change I will forever be subject to this never ending purgatory of which is known as life. I do not know why I am here and why I am still here or why I have chosen not to leave. All I know is that I am here. Nothing has changed as a result of my presence. Why bother. Sometimes I wonder this. But in the end these delusions often help me get through my day as they inspire me to actually work and give me a false sense of hope that things will get better and everything will be fine. But it all gets shattered the moment when reality hits you. The fact that you are not as useful as others and that your purpose is just to be here and nothing else.