———————————————————⌨Profile Status⌨—————————————————

Online - Will usually reply, chances are I am just mingling on Steam.

Away - Not at my computer, feel free to message and I will reply ASAP.

Busy - Probably online but either recording, modelling or doing something important, only message if important or we are good friends. (I will remove you if this isn't followed)

Looking to Play - If we got similar games, and you know I play the game, then send me an invite and I will probably fly along!

Looking to Trade - I am a trader for CS:GO. My items aren't 100% the best, but they're good.

Offline - Not on Steam, probably not even on my computer. You can message but I won't get it.
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Personality

I'm friendly unless you act like a moron, or are a filthy liar like (Sir Jonas)

I will act like a prick in some games online, such as COD.
This does not reflect my actual opinion, it is simply banter and a way of having fun and hyping myself up.


I do not hack, I despise hacking and any use of the word or around it on this profile is making fun of the people making hacusations towards me.
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Info

If you want to add me make sure you are higher than lvl 100 and don't have a community or trade ban.

I don't play CS GO so don't invite me

I am willing to trade anything but CS GO items, as long as it is a fair trade for BOTH of us (I always price check)

I don't do price checks nor am I going to tell you how much I have spent.

Whats the VAC for?
-Why do you care?

I am not a charity don't ask for free stuff
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FAQ

-How did you get so many cards?
Lots of time invested in trading and lots of games which drop cards/boosters. I’ve been trading since cards left beta. I’ve been patiently trading since then. My card count has slowly gone up as people donate me cards, I get new ones from boosters or just 1c profits accumulate. Sorry, I don’t have a “get rich quick” scheme here.

-You have so much, you should give me some!
No.

-Why not?
As I said earlier, making a small profit is slow. Your one item is a week’s trading for me. You’d not give me a week of your time, I’m not doing the same for you.

-Please! I need that card!
Wrong word. You're looking for "want". You want that card. And I'm happy to give it to you at a reasonable price. But I cannot give it to you for free. I'm a little selfish I'm afraid, I'd like to have my inventory available for future 1:1 trades and giving away cards would put said inventory in danger of depletion.

-Why do you trade 1:1?
Because when I started I got really sick of dealing with 1:2 traders. In an act of maliciousness and pettiness I set up a 1:1 trade thread to deny 1:2 people profits. I got a positive enough reception that I expanded my 1:1 offer into other games. Now I have so many games that I have cards for that I have to pick and choose the ones which I think need me most. I started doing this for the worst reasons; I kept doing it for the best.

-Why should I trade 1:1?
If you trade 1:2 (or demand profit of any sort when trading. Note the word “demand”. Taking a profit offered to you is one thing, but it’s another to refuse anything without a profit), then don’t come crying to me when 1:1 traders like myself or my kin want nothing to do with you. Trading 1:1 allows you to build up a proper list of people willing to trade fairly with you and who’ll likely be willing to agree to help you in turn. If you trade for profit, be ready to have to pay up higher prices in return when you want something for yourself. Everyone has at some point met a “friend” who takes everything they can from you and gives nothing back. If you don’t trade 1:1, you’re that friend. And you shouldn't feel surprised when you get the same treatment from others.

-Why'd you decline my offer?
Check it. If any of the items involved are greyed out and no longer in my (or your) inventory, then the card was bought by someone else. Send me a new offer. If this is not the reason then check your prices again, they likely shifted from what they were when you sent it and I only saw the changed results (which were a lowball for me). If you genuinely lowballed me or tried to scam me then honestly, stop playing dumb you know perfectly well why I declined.

-Why bother trading, you make so little money?
Because I do this as a hobby and use any profits I stumble on to buy games during sales. I also find joy from the frustration of 1:2 traders losing out on potential profits and the happiness of those who obtain their elusive last card from my inventory.

-Do you trade CS:GO/TF2 items?
Yes. But the offer has to be reasonable. I don’t give a crap about your sentimental value attached to it from being given to you from your dead cousin/lost mentor/bestest friend forever. If the market says your sentimental item is worth 10c, that’s all you get from me (and if it’s worth so much to you, why’re you trying to trade it away anyway?). Your offered item(s) had best equal the value of the cards you want. This is after tax by the way, so giving me a pile of unwanted crates is only 1c each, not 3c. Sorry, odds are I won't be using it, so I need to get something from the trade too.

-Why do you trade instead of playing a real game?
Because I find this fun. You shoot imaginary guns at imaginary people in CS:GO, I trade imaginary cards for other imaginary cards on steam.

-Why are you a jerk to anyone who tries to lowball or scam you?
If you dealt with morons who think their tactics (which I've seen before a dozen times in the last month alone) are new or creative every damned day for three years, you’d be the same. Actually, you’d likely be worse. In all modesty I’m quite a patient person. I have friends who’ve been doing this for a lot less time and who are far nastier to prospective scammers than I.

-Who do you think you are? (This one comes from scammers who I‘ve rejected)
The guy who owns a card you want and who offers the best deal around for you to acquire it. I accept apologies verbally, written or accompanied with flowers. Sarcastic apologies don’t count.

-Why are you being mean to me?
Either you're misintrepreting me being abrupt (likely due to me multitasking and thus not expending a lot of energy to send you a detailed message), you've started this by being excessively aggressive to me or you've just attempted to scam me and thus I'm not amused by your bulls**t. If you fit into none of the above categories, then you'll have to ask me directly. I won't bite your head off for asking.

-Can I add you for future trades?
Sure! As long as I got friend room, I don’t mind a few extras, as long as you write on my wall beforehand as to why you're adding me. Just be prepared to occasionally have to re-add me. I periodically remove everyone from my friend list who I cannot remember. So either talk to me often enough that I will remember who you are or be ready to re-apply for friend list status.

-Why should I trade first? (With out-of-inventory trades)
Do you have more +rep than me and a reputation to uphold as admin in a 1:1 group? If not, you have less backing your reputability than I do. You go first.