>be me
>black boy
>want to get rich and recruit some sick ♥♥♥♥♥ as my army
>get to the nearest inhabited town
>get asked if I have a book
>dontknowhowtoread.jpg
>get beaten the ♥♥♥♥ out of and thrown in jail
>wait out my sentence while I'm starving
>walk out
>find shop and buy bread and a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ book
>go out
>start mining
>silver sells like ♥♥♥♥
>decide to raid shops at night and fence that sweet loot to a local ninja
>save up for a backpack
>store everything in there but it has a stealth penalty
>before going for another night raid leave it in a corner of a bar
>get caught stealing and beaten up and thrown in jail
>get turned into slave
>after 3 failed escape attempts, escape without an arm
>stealth kill the shop owner who got me into this ♥♥♥♥
>get beaten up and thrown into jail for murder
>almost starve again
>get released and get a prosthetic
>come back to bar where I left my backpack of stolen goods
>it's still there
>well at least someone waited for me
10/10 for ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up stories