There are more nipples than people ..

The person who would proof read hitlers speeches was a GRAMMAR NAZI..

"Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning", is the human version of "Did you turn it off and back on again?"...

You know what's creepy about humpty dumpty? They never said he was an egg...

If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread, the earth briefly becomes a sandwich...

Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions...

Your stomach thinks all potato is mashed..

Envelopes are weird. It's like here's paper wrapped in paper that I sealed with my saliva...

When you wait for a waiter you become a waiter.

When you say "forward" or "back" your mouth moves in that direction...

If a sex-addict becomes a prostitute, do they then become a workaholic?..

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton...

The first 18 years or so of your life is like a free trial and after that it's Pay-To-Play..

The word "swims upside-down is still "swims"..

100 years ago every one owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today every one has cars and only the rich have horses..

Asking for some ones name is just asking them what noise you should make to attract their attention....

What if my dog only brings back the ball because he thinks I like throwing it?