KARDONVAL » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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12 of 28 (43%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Unlocked 18 Sep, 2022 @ 2:34am

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 10:16pm

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 10:16pm

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 10:28pm

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.
Unlocked 20 Apr, 2020 @ 4:28am

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 11:07pm

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 11:07pm

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 20 Apr, 2020 @ 4:30am

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Unlocked 5 May, 2022 @ 2:51am

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2022 @ 3:38am

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2022 @ 4:03am

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2022 @ 4:22am



Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+3

3 hidden achievements remaining

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