trade?

i go to school with this guy he gives kids blow jobs behind the stairs for 5 dollars

I have an insatiable minion rape fetish. It is my ultimate fantasy to be gagged, tied up, and brutally ♥ by Kevin the Minion. I have accrued tens of thousands in debt attempting to fill this void with sexual "toys" including several custom dildos and a modified Kevin-shaped plush doll with a twelve-inch yellow strap-on. The wife and I are separated, and I have accepted the fact that I will never see my kids again. The only thing keeping Karen from divorcing me is the fear that she might be the final push into a deep, inescapable abyss, at the bottom of which lies my death. The truth is, I died nine years ago on the night I met the love of my life. I came home from the premiere of Despicable Me rock hard, collapsing in the shower and sobbing at the realization that Kevin the Minion would never, could never pin me down with his perfectly smooth body and stubby arms, penetrate me with his incredible yellow girth, and empty his huge, aching balls deep inside my tummy. Banana.

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture. i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why it's a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirtring i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk you look really nice and fun xx

I'm in the thick of it, everybody knows
They know me where it snows, I skied in and they froze
I don't know no nothin' 'bout no ice, I'm just cold
Forty somethin' milli' subs or so, I've been told
I'm in my prime and this ain't even final form
They knocked me down, but still, my feet, they find the floor
I went from living rooms straight out to sold-out tours
Life's a fight, but trust, I'm ready for the war
Woah-oh-oh
This is how the story goes
Woah-oh-oh
I guess this is how the story goes
I'm in the thick of it, everybody knows
They know me where it snows, I skied in and they froze
I don't know no nothin' 'bout no ice, I'm just cold
Forty somethin' milli' subs or so, I've been told
From the screen to the ring, to the pen, to the king
Where's my crown? That's my bling
Always drama when I ring
See, I believe that if I see it in my heart
Smash through the ceiling 'cause I'm reachin' for the stars
Woah-oh-oh
This is how the story goes
Woah-oh-oh
I guess this is how the story goes

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Up.