Jonthefuzz's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 2:16am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 10:29pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 11:05am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 2 Feb, 2014 @ 11:08pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 12:36pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 2:33pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 10:11pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2014 @ 1:52pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 2 Feb, 2014 @ 11:28pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 12:39am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:01pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 2:20am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 11:59pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2014 @ 1:27pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2018 @ 4:21pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2019 @ 12:40pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:06pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 1:45pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 12:22pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2014 @ 6:01pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2014 @ 2:19pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 10:31pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2014 @ 1:48pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:21pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2018 @ 7:41pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 12:25pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 11:05am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2014 @ 1:49pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2018 @ 9:41pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 12:34am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 10:17pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 1 Feb, 2014 @ 1:54pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 10:28pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 12:40pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 12:07pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 11:08am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:07am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2019 @ 12:34pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 9:46pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 10:17pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 12:51pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2019 @ 12:21pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2019 @ 6:06am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2014 @ 10:16pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 6:41am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:03pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 2:52am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 11:49pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2018 @ 4:36pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2018 @ 12:10am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2018 @ 2:35pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2016 @ 8:37pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2018 @ 12:15am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2018 @ 2:19pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 23 May, 2019 @ 7:34pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 2:17am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 6:53am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

5 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

16 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

24 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

0 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

11 / 20

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

12 / 30