Recent reviews by Joebeast

Want to become a Jedi with Carpel Tunnel in both wrists? Play this.

Tactical. Immersive and great with a squad of friends. Enjoy Mil-Sims? Get this game.

10/10

So...yeah. Im going to go and re-evaluate my life now. Possibly write a poem.

Ive spent the majority of my Steam life on Garry's Mod and tbh it has and still is the best game i have ever bought. Ive had the best experiences and met some of the best people on here and this game has never failed to entertain me and bring a smile to my face.

If you thought Garry's Mod was just a sandbox then you are misinformed. It has an unlimited amount of possibilities to offer. Sandbox is just the start. The community made gamemodes are where it really brings the power of the source engine to life with TTT and Prophunt you can be sure that there is an unlimited amount of hours you can put into this game.

It never gets old as there is so much to do, yes you see the same models and graphics 24/7 and i have to admit a ♥♥♥♥ tonne of kids play this game and it can get on your tits reguraly but its never deterered me from playing the game. To play this game with your friend is probably the best thing you can do as you can have so much fun! You can do whatever you want! Kill them, trap them, make them look like a retarded Hitler saluting a glowing baby taped to a dildo.

I reccoment this game to everyone not matter how old you are. This game has gamemode and features in it that can fill anyones faces with fun and joy. You will not be dissapointed with this game and i can almost promise you that. You just have to do a little digging to find the right thing for you. And remember. Bring a friend with you.

I give this game a 9.9/10 simply because it is a "perfect" game. Yes there is no such thing which is exactly why i gave it a 9.9. But to me i dont see how this game can get an better apart from better voice quality and graphics as this source engine is a little outdated now.

At the time of this review i have played 689.2 hours of garrys mod. I still play the game reguraly so if you want to play with me just send me a request.

This has been Joanna Marston. The sex changed version of John Marston from Red Dead Redemption.

For a game that was shown in 2011 as groundbreaking in terms of visuals... the game really lacks any "wow factor" visuals. Yes, yes i know they downgraded the game so the next gen systems could support it but really ubisoft that dosent mean you downgrade a perfectly good pc version. Also. ♥♥♥♥ you Uplay.

Anyway ill split my review up into sections to make it look more like a IGN review or some ♥♥♥♥.

Visuals [6/10] - For a game that could of easily looked so much better i am dissapointed. But! It does look amazing. I mean for a current/old gen game sense. The textures quality is what we are looking for, for once. 1080 resoluted textures for like the first time which bring this game to a whole new level. The atmosphere brought by the visuals is stunning to, yuou do actually feel like you are in the city. But. As they have gone down the road of realism the scenery is dull and grey because we are all dull and grey and boring and ♥♥♥♥.

Story [No Major Spoilers] [9.5/10] - You are a hacker. Hacking an enitre city with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ phone. Erm im sorry? Isnt that amazing enough. I cant really say any more than that as it would be spolier but count on me its just so amazing. They put so much time and effort into making the characters in depth. You feel the emotional connection between them.

Driving [5/10] - For a game focused on realism it really does a poor job on its driving. Its arcade style and dosent really fit into this type of game, dont get me wrong its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fun to drive but dosent suite the game at all. But if your looking for that acradly feel of a car then this game is perfect for that. At the end of the day its down to personal opinion.

Shooting [8.5/10] - Its realistic. Can be a bit stiff sometimes but it is fun to shoot people, you get that satisfaction from it, you do feel like the bullets are killing them.

Hacking [10/10] - Now this is fun. You can hack people, you can read their texts, tap their phone calls, steal their money. You can see how much income they earn a year and any criminal records they have. You can see their interests and hobbies and see what type of porn they watch. On top of that you can hack the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ city. Traffic lights, bollards, spikes, steam pipes. you name it its hackable. One of the most fun things to do at night is to cause a major blackout. Everyone panicks. Noone can see you and you can cause mayhem without it affecting you.

Overall Rating [9.2/10] - Truthfully. This game needs some improvments like visually performance wise but thats really about it. The storys perfect, the shootings perfect. The driving is very polished but not to my style. Its overall a very, very good game. It was worth the wait.

P.S: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Uplay

Amazing! 9.5/10

Made me giggle. 8/10

Perfect. 10/10

Can shoot nazis. 7/10