I'm telling you, this dude is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day and he was buying cases of Redbull and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said, "they help contain my full power so I don't completely $hit on these kids" and then he bunny hopped out the door, if you think you're good at fps games then you've probably never played against this dude before, because he's just that good.

So there's this chick in my class I like; unfortunately I'm quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our fellow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun. Her "big and tough" boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practice in one fell swoop. "Go ahead" I say. "The gun is only 400 years old and the sword is a child of many milenia. Do you fancy the odds?" Instantly the gang banger drops his weapon and runs. My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She thanks me with a kiss, but I don't smile because I was only doing my job. Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected but raise a weapon against me and I'll be your worst nightmare.

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~~~▄▄██▌█ ░░░░ The Bitchslap TRUCK IS COMING░ ▐
▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ ░░I know a few people who need a ride░ ▐
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Kevin...

Kevin...