🌋 + [Secret Drug Facts] + 🌽
🌏 🥗 🚕 💙 🔋 🎈 👑 🐳 💄 🚙 💎 🎁 🐛 🌂 🍇 💚
There are only two kinds of tequila. Good and better.
Come quickly, I am tasting stars!
-- Dom Perignon, upon discovering champagne.
🍖 ⚡ 🕺 🐝 🌳 👹 🐊 🏀 📘 👃 🎄 🏓 🥞 🚘 💗 👳

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Mom's Visa" has been declined, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo (12') $89.99
- 1x Ultra HD Backdoor Sluts 9 $12.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (Extra Small) $24.45
- 5x Bananas $7.00
- 5x Cucumbers $4.00
- 1x FeelsLikeBlood Lube Bottle 750ml $19.99
- 1x Next day shipping $45.00
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)

-rep Dirty Nigerian At That...

-rep Nigerian

I'm supposed to be playing FarmVille™ but this one player keeps cutting my grass.

Is it TheFarmer27?!

Yeah, TheFarmer27.

Who is the farmer 27?

Some say TheFarmer is the first FarmVille ™ player ever.

Born from corn stalks.

I heard, TheFarmer27 can hock a loogie farther than a catapult.

I heard TheFarmer27 once cut an entire field with a single blow.

But the worst part is, just when you think you're safe, just when you think you might escape...

SHOINK!!! Just like that!

collective gasps

Iphone Notification

What? No, no no no, no no no!

Iphone Notification

That's impossible!

"TheFarmer27" has captured my cow!

Mine too!

Aw you guys, I'm sure it's not that bad.

You have no idea what just happend.

I might have some idea.

Woman turns around, and powers her device's screen, showing she is infact TheFarmer27