Recent reviews by A Pimp named Jimmy

Terraria is the quintessential indie darling that keeps on giving. A game, that once many called "2D Minecraft", has grown so so much that Minecraft is now the smaller game.

Terraria is not perfect, nor is it super well-optimised. But picking on these small things would be like judging your wife's blowjob skill. Yeah she may not have perfect technique, but she has been trying consistently for you for the last 10 years, and you probably wouldn't want her to suddenly be too good at it.

10/10, good luck on your next project Re-Logic.

If writing this review means forfeiting what remains of my dignity then ♥♥♥♥ it, I'm writing a review on DOAX: Venus Vacation.

Let's get this out of the way first, I play this game by the set-and-forget it method. I open the work I need to do, in the background set the game to autoplay, do a few daily tasks, and then shut the game down. I believe this is the only way to "play" this game, if you actually play this game fullscreen, 100% focused, for hours, please seek help.

This a really predatory Gacha game with prices so ridiculous no one would buy into it. Although the Paid-only stuff are really well-design. The free suits for the characters are fantastic as well, sometimes even better than the Paid-only stuff; you can tell that the people designing these suits put a lot of care and attention into them so there are some genuine fashion to be seen here.

But I want to write this review to say that this is the best Gacha game right now, no ♥♥♥♥♥♥ turn-based combat, no spreadsheet min-max grinding; the chicks are 3D modelled and over 18 so you don't have to worry about the Feds raiding your computer while you are polishing the rod, you sick degenerates, you know who you are. So I don't understand why anyone would play other Gachas, and god forbids, more than 1 Gacha.

8/10, Imma be honest guys, I just play this for the tits.

The Walking Dead S1 is one of the few games that have made me emotional.

Although the writing is not perfectly consistent and some parts really flare out as the player's choices do not matter all that much, the pacing and emotional nodes are really strong. The Walking Dead S1 also does this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up thing where you actually care about the characters and want to listen to their dialog, instead of constantly wishing them to shut the ♥♥♥♥ up like in a certain supernatural teen drama game.

In Telltale games, your choices may not matter all that much, but when I make those decisions in the game, every choices felt like a stab at my heart. And like a blissfully ignorant housewife unknowing of her husband's affairs, I was happy throughout my journey.

That being said, the game stutters like a person who writes Steam Reviews when meeting an above average looking girl, so I had to play the Definitive Edition. As a result, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sucks.

10/10.

Bayonetta may as well be the greatest game of all time.

Bayonetta is a spectacle-fighter, just for that, the game is already a 10/10. Bayonetta's combat design has this ♥♥♥♥-up thing where it is so easy to get into that one could mash buttons and still get Platinums; but Bayonetta combat is of such depth that trying to master it would be the equivalent of digging to the Earth's core. You will learn new things after completing the game 20 times and after completing the game 200 times.

Not only that, Bayonetta also executes its theme brilliantly. Bayonetta herself is so well-designed that the creator of the game constantly simps over her. Every single action and spectacle in the game serves to bolster its theme to further heights, not one wasted. Bayonetta is the only game in the world that you could play as a 3m-tall dominatrix with shotguns for heels killing a biblically-accurate angel through bondage.

10/10, "Mommy, you're the best!"

Life is Strange is a great game that any writer should play, just to learn what to avoid when writing teen characters and stories.

Now let's talk graphics. It is ass.
The lip syncing is absolutely abysmal, and since Life is Strange is a dialog-based story-focused game, it makes it borderline impossible to immerse in the story. Especially at some points, the character mouths stop moving at all, at a rate so frequent one might mistake it for a stylistic choice.

The character writing is extremely inconsistent. The writers took it on a rollercoaster ride where sometimes the dialog is relatable, but most of the time it sounds like a 35 years old googled internet lingos and tried to cram as much as possible into the game, because it is. The result is the characters seem stereotyped instead of nuanced.

Talking dialog, there is just way too much of it. To really hammer it in that "your choices matter", characters would talk about EVERY choices you made, and I mean EVERY, almost like they has a checklist handy. The characters would also list these choices like they are Forrest Gump, but it is all serious. I don't fault the voice actors for this, because it seems they don't have much of a good script to work with in the first place.

The story has good ideas and intentions, like tying the main message with the core gameplay mechanic, and it can be seen in the middle of the game that it is capable of intrigue and emotional-impact. However, most of the time, the writing continuous beats its messages over the player's head with the effectiveness of plastic hammer. Like it get it, Life is Strange, bully is bad, yes bully man bad, yes bad bully, i get it bully not good, person bully not good person.

Life is Strange feints depth when there isn't any. The game tries so hard to be compelling but ends up overstuffed and unsatisfying. And I dread any reviewers that have to play the other 3 games of this series.

5/10, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sucks.

I have only played 30' of the game at the time of review, but I feel like I have been waiting for a game like this all my life.

Everything that the developers set out to do have been executed brilliantly, from the quintessential music to the aesthetic. Every single concepts polished to a ludicrous degree, with a large amount of content, all packaged in a FREE DEMO for an upcoming game. This is what I call a masterpiece for your soul, and your wallet.

10/10, I'll be buying full price.

Stories: The Path of Destinies, despite having the most generic name any game can have, is surprisingly engaging.

Although simple, the story is told perfectly with great wit and a fantastic narrator. The combat takes its time to get fun and can be repetitive, but the game is short enough to not overstay its welcome. However, one could spend many many hours into this game if inclined.

9/10, just a solid game.

The game has horrible head bob that causes motion sickness, and makes aiming while strafing impossible. Despite having a very satisfying dash, the character accelerates sluggishly and has a useless jump that does not leap over any fences in the game. The whole game looks like it got a piss-color filter on.

All in all, Shadow Warrior 2013 reeks of bad 2010s shooter design. Don't play this, play the Classic Redux of the 1997 original.

This is the most sadistic game ever created.
That being said, 10/10, would play again. In fact, I did.

'Twas a shame that Pyre was not as popular as its Supergiants brethrens, because when it was released it was, without a shadow of a doubt, Supergiants' best.

Pyre is a party-based RPG visual novel 3v3 water polo (with all fouls allowed) and Supergiants' most unique game to date, also perhaps one of the most original game of all time.

As with all Supergiants' games, Pyre has beautiful hand-drawn environments and animation, narration, coupled with with such bold score direction much alike the decision to self-fund the game development. Pyre's art direction however, was much more reserved and deliberate compared to its predecessors, which makes each of Pyre's landmarks much much more memorable. The characters' animation are also superb, just a few changes in the dousing animations complements the story of each characters so well. The narration of Pyre must be the best among Supergiants thus far, I recommend messing around with Versus mode to hear more after finishing the campaign.

One of the best aspects of Pyre that I have deemed seriously overlooked by many, including myself during the first playthrough, is the decisions the player have to make. Even in game such as the Witcher 3, whose theme repeatedly remind the player of the morally-grey choices they will have to make, have mostly very easy-to-decide choices in the main story. Pyre's amazingly well-written dialogues presents a story that did plot choices much better than most games with much less. The relationship nest that Pyre weaved makes the ultimate decisions difficult, even more so in the second playthrough.

10/10, Pyre gave its glory so Hades may yet have its.