jbondhus
Jonathan Bondhus
Saint Paul, Minnesota, United States
-Once programmed a calculator AI so sophisticated, it was legally considered a US citizen before an error cleared the RAM
-Guardian of the sacred Magic Umbrella of Tempest, which he lost
-Currently not on fire (subject to change at any moment)
-Believed to be invincible from age 12 to 15
-Constantly monitored by 7 different federal organizations, and on 12 government watch lists
-Ran a 5-year experiment to test the effects of prolonged exposure to radiation on the human body; all three of his heads agreed the results were inconclusive
-Adamantly refuses to acknowledge the existence of France
-Worships John Moses Browning as a deity
-Once discovered the secret to eternal life, but forgot to write it down
-Unsuccessfully attempted to jump over three goats on his bike (he didn't use a ramp)
-Has a less impressive body count than the common cold (one gopher confirmed, another probable)
-Hopes to ascend to Valhalla in the afterlife
-The first person in history to receive a doctorate in sarcasm
-Avoids using the word 'irony' whenever possible
-When left to ferment, his blood turns bright purple
-Did not attend senior prom, but instead played Fallout: New Vegas and drank Mountain Dew that night
-Once programmed a calculator AI so sophisticated, it was legally considered a US citizen before an error cleared the RAM
-Guardian of the sacred Magic Umbrella of Tempest, which he lost
-Currently not on fire (subject to change at any moment)
-Believed to be invincible from age 12 to 15
-Constantly monitored by 7 different federal organizations, and on 12 government watch lists
-Ran a 5-year experiment to test the effects of prolonged exposure to radiation on the human body; all three of his heads agreed the results were inconclusive
-Adamantly refuses to acknowledge the existence of France
-Worships John Moses Browning as a deity
-Once discovered the secret to eternal life, but forgot to write it down
-Unsuccessfully attempted to jump over three goats on his bike (he didn't use a ramp)
-Has a less impressive body count than the common cold (one gopher confirmed, another probable)
-Hopes to ascend to Valhalla in the afterlife
-The first person in history to receive a doctorate in sarcasm
-Avoids using the word 'irony' whenever possible
-When left to ferment, his blood turns bright purple
-Did not attend senior prom, but instead played Fallout: New Vegas and drank Mountain Dew that night
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