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Met this guy in Faceit. Clean comms, cracked flicks, total legend. We hit it off instantly.
We duo'd for weeks—bonded over 1v5 clutches, anti-eco comebacks, and shared trauma from smurfs.
He told me I was the best teammate he ever had. Said if we lived closer, we'd be unstoppable.
I invited him to visit IRL. We planned a LAN weekend. I even cleaned my room.
He arrived. First thing he said was “bro your PC setup is cute.”
He brought his own mousepad. Unrolled it like a scroll of destiny.
We booted up CS. First round, he team-killed me with a decoy.
Second round, he flashed me in spawn and whispered “adapt.”
Third round, he asked if he could sleep in my bed because “the energy is better there.”
I heard him whispering to my keyboard when I went to the bathroom.
He kissed my crosshair tattoo while I was asleep.
He left in the night, took my GPU and half a grilled cheese.
I’m still bottom fragging emotionally.
Never again.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.
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If you are a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
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