Recent reviews by Whoreus

Fantastic game.

Do yourself a favor; go in blind. No guides, no card tier lists. At most, maybe look up how a card you encounter works because the text isn't always as specific as it could be. The game is super easy to understand and has a lot of awesome secrets you'll unlock as you play. I love to ruin my experience with games by watching guides and figuring out the "most efficient" way to play (thanks Runescape). I am telling you right now, you do NOT need a guide to win in this game, and it'll feel 10x better when you finally beat that gold stake.

BUY BALATRO

This review heavily assumes you have played the original version of the game, so there may be light plot spoilers below.

Pros:
- Looks great (minus hair, but that is to be expected at this point)
- Plays greater
- Controls are SO much better
- Parrying is super fun but it took me about 5 hours to actually get used to using it
- New secret guns
- More cohesive story, but not straying from the original too much
- Leon is still a cringey badass
- Ashley is a competent human who even helped ME at times by giving suggestions when taking too long
- Costumes/Accessories/Collectibles for days
- Tons of secrets and treasures that flow very well with the game + New key item enhancement system
- Cool references and nods to the original without being annoying about it
- Still scary shark monster who doesn't like bullet fishing
- Side quests for spinels which are more useful than just pesetas in this game
- Merchant may be even slightly cooler than the original while still calling you stranger at every chance he gets
- In game challenges with rewards
- Extra Luis action with much more development and feelings
- Ada can still shoot me any day but doesn't sound quite as good
- Extra incentive for New Game Plus playthroughs
- More mini bosses
- Reworked main bosses that still maintain the feel of the old ones
- DOG IS NOT DEAD they baited us so hard with that one in the demo
- Melee is still invincible (but more dangerous)
- No quick time events in cutscenes
- Actually kinda scary at times
- Red9 is still Red9

Cons:
- No suplexes??? EDIT: Okay there are suplexes
- Ashley roasts me on occasion
- Ashley does not imply she wants the D at the end of main story, but rather offers me a job
- Missing one specific boss I was looking forward to
- No Resident Evil movie style badass laser sequence
- No surprise quick time event in the last cutscene of the game after players have let their guard down to make them rage a tiny lil bit
- No separate ways or bonus games (yet)
- Lacking content for the price tag compared to many other new games

Overall, I loved every minute of this game. I think they did the original justice while bringing massive quality of life improvements to players which makes the game flow and play so much better. This is a very lighthearted pros and cons list, and I think the pros far outweigh the cons. As a Resident Evil fan, especially 4, I highly recommend the remake. As someone who didn't play the original first, though, you may think the game is very short for the price. With that being said, there are plenty more reasons to play through the game again than the original, so I feel I will reach 100 hours on this game with ease which makes it worth it to me. I'm not sure if it is just the nostalgia talking, but this is one of the best games I have played in a long time, and it truly lived up to the hype.

WOW WOW WOW!!

I have been craving the nostalgia of playing Zoo Tycoon lately, and wouldn't you know it I logged onto Steam to see this game listed for $11. In I think 3 days I have already amassed 24 hours of playtime, and it is all I want to do with my life right now. No school, no internship, no career... only ZOO!!

I started with the career mode to learn the ins and outs and was enthralled with the tutorial, although that British ♥♥♥♥♥ does talk a little too much at times. By the third scenario you are already building your own zoo from scratch, with a fair bit of starting money and a beautiful location. I spent a fair bit of time here even pushing after three starring the level because I was thrilled with how my first zoo was coming along.

I stopped career mode there and was disappointed by the other game mode options... is my only chance to create a zoo with actual challenges behind it already over? No, you big dumb idiot, there is literally a tab called "Challenge" mode which is practically sandbox but with an economy, challenges, and real zoo management (not completing challenges in different scenarios like I initially thought.) And ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is that management aspect DEEP. It is pretty standard to hire and train staff in these types of games, but what shocked me is the actual amount of control you really have over every single aspect of EVERYTHING. Ticket prices, concession costs, ATM fees, PAID BATHROOMS (I'm not that much of a ♥♥♥♥, though). The list goes on and on. Eventually you'll get to the point where you can't even spend the money flowing in fast enough, deal with the protesters around your 30 animals with low welfare, fix the always breaking vending machines, and clean up before the inspector arrives, but lucky for you there is a pause button that stops everything for a moment but still allows you to build, take care of animals, etc. This really takes the pressure of being efficient off and makes it a much more chill game.

If you enjoyed Zoo Tycoon, this game will consume your life, because there is way more in-depth content with great graphics to back it up. If I were to talk about all of the features that blew me away in this game, this review would be the size of War and Peace, so I'll let you discover most of it on your own. Maybe Zoo Tycoon had most of this stuff, too, but as a kid I only worried about the pretty animals, so I have no idea. Now I feel like a real zoo manager with the pressure on to create and run a zoo with happy animals and high paying customers.

TL;DR-
Zoo Tycoon + Sims had a baby, but with the most realistic management system I have ever seen and stunning graphics. Absolutely addicted. Nostalgia satisfied.

This game.. what can I say. I absolutely love it at its core. The game may possibly be the best idea for a video game in recent years. The main problems are the bugs and the current lack of players. This game used to be huge. Keep in mind I never played the mod so I am only speaking from Standalone experience, but I love it still. Despite the current bugs and broken stuff it is still an amazing game with amazing players. I don't want this game to die. However, that's where it seems to be heading. The DayZ hype is mostly over, but I believe that if they start making the right choices they can bring it back. I definitely recommend buying this game ESPECIALLY if it ever goes on sale because I will admit that $35 is a little steap for an unfinished game. Still though, I have had a lot of great experiences on this game and have met a lot of amazing people. If you have a computer that can run it and a desire to play a game that takes a little bit of hard work to get into then you should really love this game.

I am a savage. Do buy.