Wow, I didn’t think it was possible to be statistically worse than a drunken raccoon with a broken controller, but here you are. Watching you play is like witnessing a dumpster fire inside another, bigger dumpster fire—except the flames are pure incompetence.
Your aim? Nonexistent. Stormtroopers with Parkinson’s do better.
Your driving? Didn’t know vehicles could explode from disappointment.
Your reaction time? I could plant a tree, wait for it to grow, and still dodge your attacks.
Anyway, here’s your in-game portrait:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠿⠿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣄⠀⠈⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣦⣴⡿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Absolutely tragic.

World class surfer!

Tech support

＊　.　 * .'　＊ ★ ＊　　'＊　　　*
＊　　.　'　　+:..:+ 　　'　 ' 　＊
.　　　＊　　☆☆☆　＊　　　.
　　*　　'　+:...+....:+　　＊
'　　　　'　☆☆☆☆☆　　　＊　'　　
　＊　* '　+:...:+＠+:...:+ 　　　'　　*
＊　.　　.☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ＊　'　*　.
　　.　　+:..:+&+:...:+:...:+
　*　.　☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆　＊　'　　　*
'　.　　+:...:+♡+:...:+§+:..:+
.　*　☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆　　'　*
　　.+:..:+♡+:..:+@+:..:+♡+:..:+
　.　　　　　.　▨ 　 '　' ＊　　　　　*
　　　.　*　　　　　　.　　　.　　'
　　　𝓜𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼

+pawjob ⢀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⣴⠾⠃⠀⠀⣾⣿⣷⡄⠀⢠⣾⣿⣷⡄⠈⣿⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀
⠀⢰⡟⠁⠀⣀⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣆⠀
⠀⣿⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⡄⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠙⠉⠁⠀⣠⣶⣦⡀⠀⣿⠀
⠀⣿⡇⠀⠸⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿⠀
⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠈⠛⠛⠋⠀⣼⠃⠀
⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⣽⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀
⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸

+pawjob ⢀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⣴⠾⠃⠀⠀⣾⣿⣷⡄⠀⢠⣾⣿⣷⡄⠈⣿⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀
⠀⢰⡟⠁⠀⣀⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣆⠀
⠀⣿⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⡄⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠙⠉⠁⠀⣠⣶⣦⡀⠀⣿⠀
⠀⣿⡇⠀⠸⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿⠀
⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠈⠛⠛⠋⠀⣼⠃⠀
⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⣽⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀
⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸