Le TéléSucé's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 10:42am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2014 @ 11:23am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 8 Nov, 2014 @ 9:38am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2019 @ 1:04pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 11:04am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2014 @ 11:26am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2014 @ 9:05am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 21 May, 2015 @ 8:10am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 27 May, 2015 @ 5:15am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 May, 2022 @ 12:10pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 24 Nov, 2019 @ 8:02am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 24 Nov, 2018 @ 8:23am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2014 @ 8:28am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 21 May, 2015 @ 8:33am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2014 @ 8:33am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2014 @ 8:41am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2014 @ 10:59am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 24 Nov, 2019 @ 8:02am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2015 @ 1:29pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 12 Nov, 2014 @ 11:04am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2014 @ 11:11am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2014 @ 9:26am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2014 @ 8:47am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2015 @ 4:43am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2019 @ 1:58pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 17 May, 2022 @ 12:13pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 8 Nov, 2014 @ 9:38am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 21 May, 2015 @ 8:37am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 10:42am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 24 Nov, 2019 @ 8:02am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 May, 2022 @ 10:34am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 23 May, 2015 @ 9:24am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 27 May, 2015 @ 5:17am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 12:02pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2014 @ 11:41am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 17 Nov, 2019 @ 12:37pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2014 @ 10:40am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 10:45am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 10:37am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2014 @ 11:34am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 15 May, 2022 @ 7:28am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 10:47am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 24 Nov, 2019 @ 8:02am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 13 Dec, 2014 @ 8:57am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 11:19am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 9:17am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2014 @ 11:28am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2015 @ 9:38am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2015 @ 5:30am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2016 @ 2:17pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 22 Oct, 2021 @ 12:57pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2015 @ 9:47am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 4 Aug, 2020 @ 3:33am

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 4 Aug, 2020 @ 3:47am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2016 @ 9:54am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2020 @ 10:14am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

26 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

24 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

5 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

18 / 30

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,810 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

22 / 30