Hey, Jas, you awake?

Jason?

Jason, you awake?

Yeah, been up for hours. Just getting dressed.

You finish your English paper?

I did it last night.

Did you eat your oatmeal?

Yeah. Thanks, Mom. It was delicious.

Here you go, Trooper.

Nice board, Shepherd.

Bret, I'd love to stay and be physically and emotionally abused by you guys, but I should get to school.

Ow.

I had a feeling you were an excellent bully, and I was right.

Take it easy.

Give me the skateboard.

You sure? Because now you're going from harmless bully to hardened boardjacker.

You don't want that, do you?

I assume everyone completed their creative writing assignments.

Read your assignments in a slow and peaceful manner.

You, Joshua. Go.

My dog ate it?

I know you don't have a dog.

Right. Sorry.

Ms. Caldwell?

Yes, Kaylee.

Can you open the door? It's kind of toasty in here.

I suppose so.

Jason Shepherd. Did you just come in from that window?

No, you looked a little flushed.

I was just creating a cross-draft.

Now that we're all comfortable, why don't you read us your story?

Let's give someone else a chance.

No, I think we'd all like to hear yours.

You did do it, didn't you?

Ms. Caldwell. Can I call you Phyllis?

No. Understood.

But, as much as I wanted to write my paper, I mean I really, really wanted to write my paper, I couldn't.

I spent all last night in the Greenbury General emergency room.

See, my mom made Swedish meatballs for dinner.

My dad's favorite. He was so excited, he accidentally swallowed one whole.

It was awful. He started choking. His face turned purple.

The meatball was literally bulging out his neck.

We rushed him to the ER.

I tried to write it in the waiting room, but it was too hard.

I needed to be by my father's side. After all, he's the only dad I got.

You're lying through your teeth, you little demon.

I wish I were. Call my dad if you want.

His number is 555-0147.

I think I will.

Are you crazy? You're totally going to get busted.

Say, "Harry Shepherd's office." No way.

Help me out! What can I do?

How about write the paper?

Do it. No!

Harry Shepherd's office. One moment, please.

Hello?

Hello, Ms. Caldwell.

Yes, it's true. It was terrifying.

I started to see the white light.

I was just about to cross over to the other side when I heard an angel's voice calling out.

When I opened my eyes I saw my sweet, sweet Jason standing over me.

I said, "Back off, Grim Reaper.

"I ain't done living yet."

And with every ounce of gas I had left in my body, I burped that meatball right across the room.

And I owe it all to my son.

I'm sorry, Ms. Caldwell. I should stop talking now.

My throat is still very sore. Thank you.

Jason?

I am so sorry.

You just take your time handing in that assignment.

Thank you.

Now back to those creative essays. You, Trevor. Go.

Jason! Just who I was looking for.

I need to see you in here.

I would love to hang out and chat with you, Ms. C, but I've got to go home and help take care of my dad.

Oh, really?

How could you lie to us, Jas?

You told me you wrote that paper.

I don't know.

Unfortunately, that essay counts for one-third of Jason's semester grade.

Without it, he'll fail the class.

He'll have to repeat the course in summer school.

What? I can't go to summer school!

There must be something he can do to make it up.

I'm teaching English as a second language at the community college until 6:00.

If you can get me the paper by then, I'll consider counting it.

Don't even think of downloading something from the Net, Jason.

I want that essay handwritten.

A 1,000-word story in three hours?

It should be no problem, making up stories is your God-given talent.

Making up stories is your God-given talent.

"Big

"Fat

"Liar."