I hate this nonsense cycle. At one moment you feel a great burst of motivation to do something great, but in the end you'll just take a shower and go to bed again, forgetting the ambitious plan you thought of and say "its impossible, its gonna be a failure, it'll not work, im useless, im lazy, im no one, im a failure."

After all that, you'll continue to strive the internet pointlessly, distracting yourself from the thoughts you're afraid of, from the action you should've taken and executed. And at some point you'll be tired, and sleep. you feel the anxiety, the urge, the motivation, the sudden realization of what you've been doing this entire time. and again, after all that, you fell into the dreamland.

In the morning, you just wish that you dont have to wake up from your dream, and continue living a utopian chaotic world without any rules of reality, and the fact that you dont feel any kind of negative emotion in that dream. You'll continue living as an imaginary entity living in yourself endlessly, not caring about anything, its just you, and happiness.

And yet, you woke up from your early morning daydream, and continue your life.