-Rep Met him in CS:GO after he 1-tapped an entire team blindfolded. I added him instantly. Over time, we became unstoppable—AWPer and rifler in perfect sync.

He invited me to a secret aim bootcamp. I showed up to an abandoned warehouse, no lights, just a CRT monitor running CS:GO. He stepped out, shirtless, covered in tally marks.

"Welcome," he said, handing me a mouse with no side buttons.

I trained for hours—only deagle headshots. Every miss, he whispered, "Do it again."

Then, after what felt like an eternity, I finally landed 100 headshots in a row. He nodded, walked up to me, and whispered, "You’re ready."

Suddenly, the lights came on—silk walls, a golden throne, and him in jean shorts cut dangerously high.

"You've passed, but..." he purred, leaning in. "...the real clutch isn't in the game...."

Turns out he was gay. Would not queue with again. 1/10.

⣿⣿⣿⡇⢩⠘⣴⣿⣥⣤⢦⢁⠄⠉⡄⡇⠛⠛⠛⢛⣭⣾⣿⣿⡏
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⢇⡹⣿⣿⣛⣓⣿⡿⠞⠑⣱⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⡄⣿⣪⡻⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣀⣀⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣓⡽⡆⡄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠄⢨⡻⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣭⡶⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⡇⡿⠟⠉
⠄⠸⣷⡅⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣚⡀
⠄⠄⢉⣾⡟+Rep⠈⢻⣿⣷⣅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡆⠄⣤⡀
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠁
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶
⠄⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣫⣾⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢮⣭⣍⡭⣭⡵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣌⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿
⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣶⡞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠃

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