Now I could use this space to write about who I am (or I could be one of those cringy players who copy paste a wall of text boasting their obviously fake PC specs and config), but nah, not for me. I'm gonna use this space to narrate a story. A story which changed my outlook to life.

It was already half past 11 and I was kicked out of my home. The home I'd been staying in since forever. My parents had chosen to disown me. They said that I'd been changed by Dota. Transformed into something they don't remember seeing grow up. I knew it was all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. They were making stuff up because I was too good and they couldn't queue with me anymore. The MMR discrepency was just too high.
It was dark outside. I wandered through the streets. I had no money, but I was glad I had my favorite jockey boxers on. The only thing on my mind was - "now where the ♥♥♥♥ do I get a computer from?".
After hours of walking in the cold and shady alleys, I hit the jackpot. I saw paradise. I saw beauty. I saw perfection.
I had spotted an open window which would lead me to my prize - a gaming PC. I inspected the house carefully, trying to gather intel. My years of playing Assassin's Creed was finally paying off. From what I could find, the owner of the house was a lady whose husband wasn't home. The lady was old and mature, and sleeping peacefully. I knew this was my chance. I had to grab that stuff and run away as fast and far as possible.
I snuck in through the window. Closed the door and turned the lights on. "♥♥♥♥" was my reaction.
The ♥♥♥♥♥ knew I was on the prowl. She had caught me.
But I always had a backup. My jockey boxers.
My jockey boxers were special you see (actually I'm special). They showed a perfect view of my manliness. I was able to seduce the lady and finally got my hands on the wonderful PC. I took it and never looked back.
Thus ends the tale of the day I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ yo mama.

P.S. if you read that, add me for some dotes.